I’ve gone 4 days without food

4 lonely days without anything entering my body

4 days surviving off of liquid

4 days hurting and looking at my scale

I’ve gone 4 days feeling fat

4 days looking in the mirror for hours

4 days crying while holding my body

4 days promising to leave the food alone

ive gone 4 days feeling hungry

4 days hurting and knowing it’s working

4 days enjoying my stomach cry for food

4 days searching for the hunger to grow

ive gone 4 days with tired

4 days no sleep, falling down a rabbit hole

4 days watching the bages grow under my eyes

4 days with exhaustion surrounding my thoughts

and I’ve gone 4 days feeling hurt.

4 days knowing my body isn’t right enough

4 days wanting to be tinier than tiny

4 days searching for ways to drop the weight

but despite all of this. The worst of it all, is I’ve gone 4 days having to live with death creeping in. I’ve gone 4 days pushing the devil back down. 4 days waiting to fall and never rise, 4 days having the dark consume me.

and the dark taking me under will be okay. It will be okay when my 4 days become enough.