Last night I went out and didn't drink a drop of alcohol (actually that's a lie, at my friend's insistence I had a taste of the Jeremiah Weed root beer stuff he'd bought). That was it though, it was diet cokes and orange juice all night for me. It was weird, I was definitely more aware of my sobriety than on my night out during the week. It didn't help that the friend I was out with kept semi-hitting on me and pushing boundaries. I guess this is what happens when you see things in the sober light of day, you realise how much shit that made you uncomfortable you were prepared to put up with before. We went onto a quite nice bar that I like, with a more mature crowd and none of the people I wanted to avoid: my horrid ex, his awful friends and the whole general insane punk/rock crowd that act like dicks. I didn't stay out long, and was back home by just after 1am. Even before I stopped boozing I wasn't 'last one standing' anymore, years of hardcore drinking and partying have made me tired, and now even without the lack of alcohol I just get to a point where I know to go home (unless of course I'm in a drunken rage/depression/other extreme emotional state).

All in all it was ok. My housemates who have never gone out on big nights out in the whole time I've lived here picked the first weekend of my new found sobriety to go all out and get trashed – excellent timing. I heard them crashing in at around 3.30am and babbling shit for a few hours, definitely did not feel jealous though, I know alcohol for me is too dangerous to play with.

Still feeling a bit low, mainly sort of 'what's next' if you know what I mean. I'm in a town where after a year I have a lot of acquaintances but still don't really have any solid friends. I hate my job and the job hates me, but the employment market is painfully dire. I dunno, I don't want to whine, I guess I just don't know where to start.