Been a long time since I've been on here, so howdy everyone! Hope you're doin' well. 🙂

Well, this should be fun. My wisdom teeth have been trying to come in for a few years now, but my mouth is too small. But suddenly, they are giving me far more pain than in the past, so they have to be dealt with now.

Oh, yes, this will be great great GREAT fun to have dentists/orthodontists/oral surgeons/dental hygenists look at my teeth! What is the likelihood that I will find someone who would actually understand why my teeth have gotten has horrible as they have?

See, I used to take good care of my teeth. I got into good oral care practices back when I was around sixteen–brushed twice a day, flossed once a day. I probably kept that in good practice for a few years. But I was so obsessive it became exhausting. I suspect I may have even damaged my teeth by being too zealous in my cleaning. I got worried about plaque build-up and used tools on my teeth that I probably shouldn't have; I didn't have the discipline to not be too rough with them.

Then came the day that I discovered the enamel coming off of one of my teeth. Every time my tongue touched that spot or I saw it in the mirror, I would go into stress out mode. I swore I would not let that happen to any more of my teeth. But alas…I was just too stressed out. I had other things going on in my life stressing me out, thus I became even more obsessive-compulsive when I would brush my teeth. Brushing my teeth became such a time-consuming and exhausting activity that finally, I found myself having to choose between things like if I brushed my teeth in a day or if I even ate a meal…or took time to relax and read my Bible. Brushing my teeth, which would stress me out more or spending time with my dogs, which would make me happy and less stressed? (Not to mention making them happy.) This became my life; choices between seemingly insanely simple tasks and things that should have only taken up short periods of time being full-day activities. Needless to say, caring for my teeth pretty much fell by the wayside. Especially as my stress and OCD escalated with time.

I was ashamed of how seldom I brushed my teeth and that they were getting worse. I hadn't yet come to the realization that I had OCD, so I basically just thought I was a pathetic loser who was lazy and couldn't get her priorities straight. So I didn't dare to tell anyone about any of it. So yet another stress was added on; hiding the fact that I wasn't taking proper care of my teeth. It wasn't until I finally recognized my OCD for what it is that I was able to start being open about my issues (and what a relief!). I finally realized that I wasn't lazy, pathetic, stupid, or insane. I also realized that with time, I could get better and that I needed to not be so hard on myself.

Okay, so two years have passed since I recognized my OCD. Have I gotten better? Yes, I believe so. Have my dental hygiene habits improved? Uhhh, not much. Other things in my life have, but I'm still lacking there. Especially since most of last year was spent caring for my elderly sick dog 24/7. Then I developed eczema and I've been having to deal with that–not at all an easy task for someone with OCD to keep from over-scrubbing (or scrubbing at all). It's tedious and tiring learning better skin-care practices and having to apply moisturizer every day without spending too much time on it and without rubbing the skin too much. I'm also having to overcome my extreme cheapness to buy better moisturizers and better clothing. Also having to wash my clothes more often (by hand, no less, since we don't have a working washer) to avoid skin irritation. (Ironically, that in itself could cause worse skin irritation in the hands, but hey but hey.)

Okay, enough about all that…sorry…getting distracted. I'm tired. What was my point again? Oh, yes, I am not looking forward to having to have a dentist look at my teeth; they're horrendous! I dare say almost every tooth has decay of some sort in it. I don't particularly like dentists anyway. I tend to get this vibe from them that they have no clue that you have anything else going on in your life, so it's unfathomable how you could ever not take perfect care of your teeth. I don't think I've ever gotten that kind of vibe from any other health care professional. But then again, I've usually been in pretty good physical health, so that could account for that. Though I have even admitted to other health care professionals, doing some things that I knew shouldn't have been done and I still didn't get that vibe from them.

*Sigh* It has never been easy to take care of my teeth anyway. They're crowded and crooked, making it hard to clean in between some of them. My mouth is small and my jaw out of wack, so if my mouth is open very wide for very long, it hurts like hell. (Another thing that got really exhausting with my obsessive-compulsive brushing.)

Okay, I'm jabbering…sorry. If anyone's bothered to read through this or even skim through it, thank you. But if you did it because of your OCD and are now getting very anxious because you just forced yourself to read through my long (but prettily pink) blog, I shall now proceed to slap you. 😉 (In a very affectionate way, of course, because I understand you all too well.)

I hate being around judgmental people and I have no idea how judgmental the people I'll be seeing might be. But I'm trying to remind myself that I don't need them to like me, accept me, understand me, or not judge me; I just need them to remove my damn wisdom teeth! Oh, and probably fix a few other teeth as well. I have at least one broken molar that's been giving me pain, too. Tiny chips of it keep coming off. :/

I don't give a flying shit what they think of me! It doesn't matter. If they try to lecture me, though, I might punch them in the face. Okay, I would never do that…I don't think. All I can do is be honest and then ignore any of their judgments. I've lectured and judged myself enough already.

Man, I'm sleepy. Can Tylenol make you sleepy? I actually slept for quite awhile last night even though the pain meds weren't helping consistently.

Okay, I'll stop typing now.