No. No, It’s not fun. Ever since my mom found out about my, well, my cutting, she has been takeing every sharp thing ever, yelling about how I should stop, and just not really helping too much. She’s taken all my sharps, and i have to ask to use kitchen utensils (Even though I would never use them for anything other than food) and she wants to get metal plates. It’s horribal… And because she says my friends, the only people keeping me alive, are the ones causeing this… She took my ways of talking to them away. I havent talked to them at all, and Its killing me… I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m drowning quicker than before… My mom got me a theipist, for her too. She’s been trying herself to get me to talk and I hate it, i havent told her much but I know she knows why I feel the way I do… Her… Sometimes she acts sorry, but then an hour later like a compleatly diffrent person… I’m scared of her. She’s both thretened to put me in a hospital and to just get rid of my cat if i don’t stop. She said I have to earn my friend s back because haveing friends is a privalage she has controle over…. I have to stop cutting and being depressed for her to let me talk to them again… I’m scared. I want to die… I feel like I’m makeing everything worse for my mom, she has to deal with me. She woulden’t have anger issues or stress without me but I’m still here, fucking it up… Honstly, my friends whould be better off without me, I know it, they do too. I’m sorry, I’m just full out ranting… I’m so pathedic…

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