I left them. All of them. I moved to the other side of the country. I’m in NJ. I’m almost a completely different person; emotional past memories aside. I’ve been in a relationship with the most amazing woman for three years, I have my own place, a dog. Everything I ever wanted. And all it took was escape. A one way ticket! None of them matter to me. I miss them still…ironic? Definitely. Them being my twin, my parents, my friends. Older bro went and got engaged after I left, has a couple kids. Wants me to be at his wedding. Should warn the mother he could be a danger to her two little girls, right? Or do people change? Can a monster become human? Or was his evilness only directed to one person. Should he have the benefit of the doubt? I know, I’m still complaining of a thing that ended when I was 19. But you never forget. And God damn it…I don’t and will never forgive. Those actions didn’t get me where I am; I will not justify him. I did it. By myself. No help, no therapy, no accepted apologies. I dropped every single one of those people and I’m HAPPY. My twin is jealous. Still living with dad, off his money..working part-time at dad’s store. He tried to follow in my footsteps after I left. He tried to dump everyone too. He didn’t last long. I’m stronger than him. I refuse to be bullied and talked down to by my own blood. We don’t speak. At all. I’m okay with this despite occasionally shed tears, I am okay. This is the end of the line for me and sites like this. I am proud however to read my blogs from so long ago and know that I did overcome, no matter how much I drank, selfharmed or just flat out collapsed from the mental breakdowns.. I’m where I should be. I kept fighting. Everyone else here..try to do the same. Because you aren’t weak. You are stronger than you realize. The bad things are only temporary. Remove yourself from toxic relationships, yes family too, toxic environments..all the toxic bullshit!! I want all of you..whatever you’re going through…to make it like I did. I’m not bragging. I’m setting an example. Don’t give up. Don’t feel like you’re alone. And whatever you do don’t lose yourself. This will be my last blog ever..not like there are many. Good luck. (:

1 Comment
  1. cheyberry 3 years ago

    Wow, this is amazing. Your success is inspiring. I know I need to get away from my toxic environment. I’m working on moving from Western NY to Vancouver, BC for Graduate school. It will be so empowering, and I hope to have the same success as you!

    I am so glad you are doing so well! Stay strong, love!

    1 kudos

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