Since late last year into this year I’ve been consistently getting more and more depressed. My life isn’t going anywhere and I’m tired of trying. Why should I keep on trying if I’m going to always be depressed. I’m growing more and more tired of living in this city as well. I don’t connect with anyone anywhere and I’m tired of being around people. I feel totally and completely disconnected from people in general. I don’t belong anywhere and no one besides my parents cares. More and more often I wish that I wasn’t even born. No one asks to be here and I would rather cease to exist than to continue to go through this.

Looking for a job is becoming more and more difficult and I’m always miserable. I don’t relate to anyone, and no one relates to me. There really is no point in being here anymore. I’m thinking about writing a suicide note to my parents but I haven’t done it yet. Nothing good is happening for me right now and it doesn’t seem like anything good is going to happen ever. Life in general is pointless and my life has no meaning. I don’t see the point of going to the hospital again, I think suicide is a better option. I feel like a burden to my mother and I really hate my life. I don’t want to be around anyone and no one really helps me. The medication I’m on doesn’t seem to work. There’s no reason for me to continue living. Nothing changes for the better everything just gets worse. I’m out of options and I’m done trying. I have a plan for how I would kill myself and I’m planning it soon. I don’t have a life and I hate living I’d rather be dead.

  1. ucfdarkknight 5 months ago

    I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I know a lot of members on this site can relate.

    Life is so terribly difficult.

    I for one can definitely relate to not being able to connect or feel connected with anyone. For me it is one of the worst feelings.

    Is there anything positive in your life? Even if it’s just one thing?

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  2. beachgirl20 5 months ago

    Thank you for sharing this and being so candid. It takes strength to open up about this pain. It sounds like you have been struggling with some feelings of isolation and hopelessness recently. I’m hearing that these feelings are adding fuel to the fire.
    While reading, I noticed that you mention feeling like you don’t belong anywhere, and it seems that you feel like you can’t find a purpose or a niche where you feel welcomed. Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt welcomed/connected to a community perhaps when you were a child?

    I’d like to chat more with you, if you don’t mind. You can PM me anytime. You are not alone in this. I can tell you that there are many people who feel like they do not belong in this world.

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  3. Author
    allworld2007 5 months ago

    My parents are the only positive thing in my life. There’s one person other than my parents that makes me feel welcomed, but it’s hard.

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  4. liam 5 months ago

    I can certainly relate to feelings of not belonging. Although there are some purely mental lessons to be learnt, I think the unemployment that is dragging you down too much.

    Personally I’d look at volunteering. Nothing to do with “improving your resume/CV” but purely to get out there doing something. Occasionally firms will move people from voluntary to permanent roles, so you never know, but I’d say just to do it as a way to improve your mental state. Ideally something that does a 2-3 days minimum, thing is most volunteering is 1-2hrs a week.

    You also have to realise that these days unemployment isn’t anything big. Many jobs are super specialist these days which means, to cut a long story short, I know nobody that has taken less than 2-3 months to find a new job other than some sales people I’ve met. In fact I’ve known some company directors to be a minimum 6 months out of work and usually this is after doing a brilliant job at their last company.

    I’ve a feeling you think employers are avoiding you because of an unemployment gap. Reality is that the whole “can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job” thing is a myth – I suspect your issue is more one of not targeting the right jobs where you actually stand a chance. Regardless of what position, whether newbie with few skills, graduate or someone that got let go after doubling company revenues, you need to know which roles you will stand a chance, which you don’t. For instance as a graduate I only ever got callbacks after going for jobs DIRECTLY related to my coursework. Not where the job title had a word or 2 related to my degree title but where I would actually be using stuff I learnt in college. Once I twigged this I got a job within weeks and they couldn’t give a shit about my post college “gap”.

    If all else fails look at which companies don’t give a shit about inexperience (not say they do, but actually don’t) e.g. market research, McDs, telemarketing and get a job there. I’ve been in market research – it is a bit of pressure as I was on the phone all day, but in these kinds of environments where if you can do the job well it will pay off. Also these were the best workplaces I found for making real friends. Not that I didn’t make friends any time I worked for major employers, but people are more guarded.

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  5. liam 5 months ago

    Seriously though if you ever need to vent, pm me. Also know there are people here that will listen. We’ve all been there at some point, I certainly have.

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