Today my mom has promised my little brother Zander that she would go to lunch with him. SHe has promised him this a few days ago and its all he talked about. Since he is in Kindergarten she can still eat lunch with him plus it was on his favorite meal day: coney dogs.

Well I didn't know what time his lunch was and neither did Zander. Mom did but she didn't tell any of us. So this morning I walk in there after just having cried my eyes out in frustration at school 10 minute ago and I wake her up. Her first words were: Oh my god what time is it? I told her it was almost 11. See I didn't wake them up because i figured she and her bf/fiance or w.e. wanted to sleep in on a day off of work and I also figured Zan's lunch didn't start until 11:30 or so. Well the second words out fo her mouth were: Oh my god honey wake up its too late its too late! That is when it registered she wasn't going to make it to Zan's lunch. Her next words hurt the most: I thought she was going to wake me up. She meaning Me.

Now she's crying and Glen (her bf/fiance) is getting her and himself dressed because shes too upset that she broke a promise. Now they are leaving to go to the school and make up an excuse to get him out of there o spend the rest of the day with him to make it up to him. They didn't invite me which is fine I guess. I don't know if I could handle seeing the hurt look onZans face and knowing that it was my unspoken job to wake her up. Even though she didn't tell me to I should have just got her up at 9 so she would have had time to get ready. Now I feel like this broken promise that is probably destroying Zander right now is my fault. And I know that she will break the promise she made to me today about going and getting me this food and stuff that I need for my new diet/ healthy lifestyle plan meant for teens. Its what I want most but other events always tend to overshadow promises or events pertaining to me.

I guess thats how my deprression has gone unnoticed by my family for the last 3 years. But now i'm crying again because I don't want Zander to blame me and I don't want mom to blame me andI realize that it probably is my fault.I should have just got her up and I shouldn't have let her sleep in. So much for thinking I was doing them a favor. Now I don't know whats going to happen.