Just to get started, since I am a little scattered this morning, which I will undoubtedly get into later, I wanted to impress upon the Two Major Gifts that [only absolute]Sobriety can offerme:
1. A Devotional Yogic Practice, complete with honor to the gurus and yogis
2. True and revealing Dreamwork
Also, I am reading an Orthodox Christian (yes- it's super mystical…) book on overcoming addiction and other "passions".. The "Passionless State" is touted as a forerunning virtue.. which in essence, could probably be equated with the Zen state, et al terminology.
Transcendence, clarity and solace.
In any case, it seems, as my previous blog (blog entry?) eluded to but stated that, "I don't really want to get into _blank_"- there are certain, or rather there is one OTC "remedy" to Opiate Withdrawal, which **since I am not sure if it precipitates extended w/d**- I am quite reticent to tout any benefit, other than it being a certain crutch whose results are immediate and true. ::sigh:: I took 24mg of Loperamide, which is equivalent to 12 Immodium anti diarrhea *tablets*.. Yes, it did work, and almost immediately, probably since it works of the receptors of the gut (which pretty much has it's own "brain" or nervous system btw..).. And, it worked So well that I would only ever take 10mg from now on if the Dysphoria becomes overwhelming.. that or since I know I have a remedy- whenever the craving wins, unfortunately. Sheesh!!!
My stomach was rumbling a little this morning, and last night too- which I am sure by now the pizza I ate yesterday night on top of the tablets hasturned into a little adobe house in my intestines. Luckily (?) I can consume copious amounts of coffee, which jump-starts peristalsis (to no avail yet anyway : P ).. if need be I can obtain some Senna Leaf for tea, and powdered magnesium- which has always been very pleasant for my nerves anyway…
Anyway, I'm feeling a little wonky this morning, though I did dream (and probably only after 7am since I had some doxylamine [half a tablet of unisom] in my system, which does help me to fall asleep restfully but am pretty sure takes most of my REM away)… in this dream Lupe Fiascovisited some bar/coffeeshop/kitchen I was working in, said I was awesome and wanted to hang out- Score! And the other night I did dream of the oceanic coast, at night, saw the milky way under the clouds between the sky and surf.. as well as an occulted moon.. Nice.
So, here's to doing what it takes to get through, with hopefully minimally (or none? can it be none please?) negative consequences…….. … .
Love to all~ xoxo