So i just got back from church, i dont go every week, maybe once a twice a month once to do sunday school. The last few years the church have been raising funds for a new church building, now it's been here a few months i really dont like it. It's so bright!! it doesn't feel like a church. I'm not saying churches should be gloomy but this just doesn't feel right you know. I'm a very self conscious human being, with the bright lights and the whire walls i feel like i'm on show 100% i've only been to the new bulding 2 or 3 times so far but each time i've felt awful. I feel really hot, sweaty but clammy, my voice breaks when i sing, i can feel everyone around me..just argh! i had to sit down during todays service during worship just to breath coz i felt like my legs were about to give way! I downloaded a breathing app on my phone last night so i practised that in my head. breath in for 5 breath out for 10. It helped but i felt so stupid..I'm at home having lunch now and i'm exhausted!! got to go to work in half an hour *sigh* please be an easy shift! I don't have the strength today, it puts me off going back to church purely because of how i feel after. Maybe it doesn't help that i have no one to sit with. my younger sister and her boyfriend were satnear the front in the middle (we don't get on that well) so i left them too it. then my dad came in 20 miinutes later to my relief (we don't get on but can make small-talk). I wish i had somebody who i knew or who could make me feel more confident. i hope i don't feel like this at work. may have to have an energy drink. i feel so flat 🙁 dont cry dont cry!!
-
Guilt
arcania, , Depression, Depression, 2
This year, I realized that I feel guilty for many things. Most of these are illogical since I am...
-
I don’t think I’m okay (I might need help)
lindsmarie, , Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Stress, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
So, first, my uncle’s girlfriend passed away on the 17th I think. We think she died from heroin (or...
-
Letting go for more closure (could trigger)
Dancer, , Depression, Child, Depression, Psychosis, Therapist, Therapy, 0
How can you ever get closure ??? How do you get over the loss of your father when all...
-
I’m SeiZa.
SeiZa, , Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Religion, Schizophrenia, 2
Hi all, You can call me SeiZa and I’m having a hard time to realize and admit that I’m...
-
Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing… Miss Pathetic
Envy, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 3
I’m worthless, pathetic, weak, dumb, ugly, selfish, and narrow-minded. These are only some of the words that go through...
-
Awakened again !!
meorak, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, 0
Well brief sum up of stuff. Had transient ischaemic attack 15 years ago, brain bleed . Was 32 and...
-
Thanks for listening…
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Anxiety, Domestic Abuse, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Relationships, 0
I'm in something of a bad mood right now. Everything was going okay until my "friend" got all pissed...
-
This is why im broken
mylifeisasaga, , Depression, Career, Child, Depression, Obesity, PTSD, Relationships, 1
I hope that writing some of this down helps me. I am in college and i support my mom...