So, I think gray is appropriate, it suits my mood. It is hot and humid here in Upstate New York and its only going to be hotter tomorrow. I hate the super heat…not sure I could ever move down south too hot…I would miss the harsh bleakness of winter. Like I have said in previous blogs I have been feeling better. A lot better. Then the last few days come along…maybe like 5 or 6 days…I have been really low…and everyday is a little bit worse than the day before. I have definitely felt worse, but I feel pretty bad. I feel as though I am a zombie as I type this. In this fog…unable to think clearly…losing my thoughts as I try to talk to people. What is going on here. I was feeling better damn it. I am really like walking wounded…and the wounds just will not heal. They are always there…the darkness, the fear that I try so hard to control is always there…always has been, as far back as I can remember. How do I fix this? How do I stop this forever? I start to feel hopefull and then the deep sadness comes back. Lonliness just washed over me yesterday so today I tried to go out and spend some time with a friend and couldn't even follow the conversation. When am I going to get a handle on this…get a handle on myself? I guess I feel a little frustrated…but I am also very much feeling apathetic…like, whatever, here we go again. As I cancelled plans with some friends over the past weekend I am sure they were thinking the same thing…Here we go again. I trust nothing anymore…nothing. I feel no comfort anywhere…no solace.
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Depths
gibbsy, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I have another blog where I post other poetry, daily stories, funny pictures etc etc…but given who reads it,...
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Worried sick
codenamespivey, , Depression, Alzheimer's, Domestic Abuse, Medication, Relationships, 0
Ever since I found out day before yesterday that my ex from last summer, Todd, was sentenced to prison...
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I find
onelyric, , Depression, Depression, Therapist, 0
Smiling…I must say I find it amusing that a certain person finds DT a depressing site where people can't...
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Holding onto time
iarose, , Depression, Child, Depression, Suicide, Therapist, 0
I have been in a cloud of depression for too long. I cannot understand my constant frustration with the...
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General observations
lightangel, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, 1
Trying to say that as I am overall optimistic, I never gave up on my dream that my future...
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My 2nd Fave Poem
dollymarie, , Depression, Child, 0
ANNABELLE LEE Author: Edgar Allan Poe It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the...
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Still around…
jay, , Depression, Depression, Medication, Obesity, Suicide, 1
i'm still around… sometimes i don't log on here too much because it's sad for me to see that...
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Losing someone
laurenavery2005, , Depression, Anxiety, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 1
Hi, my name is Lauren, and i recently lost my uncle to suicide. He was always someone who was...