SO I havnt been on the site in ages OCD's been alright and depression well it is what it is and I'm working on it.
Today while moving my elliptical machine I dropped one end of it on my right foot … the pain was intense and i hobbled around and "walked it off '' I used to play a lot of sports this was usually the approach to a minor injury lol anyways so once I had that semi under control I continued moving the machine to a different room , once in the room I went to stan it up right and the leg of the machine came down and cracked me across the side of the head.
Immediately I went into panic mode … I had a serious head injury about 5 years ago playing rugby and was hospitalized since then i guess you could say more or less i obsess about my health … if my heart races or I feel a pain in my chest I have anxiety and think I'm going to have a heart attack and die in my sleep , if I have a pain in my abdomen it's my gaul bladder going to bust in my sleep or whenever … and now voila … I'm terrified to go to bed because I've convinced myself I will not wake up.
I had the initial panic attack when it happened I tried the whole logical approach ie. I didnt black out , there was no sign of blood, I wasnt dizy disoriented or felling nautious I still knew my name and what was going on and i called a friend to talk to me while I winded down the anxiety.
this all happened around 12 hours ago since then I have had a nap
there is a little swelling .. like a bump and it's super tender but I dont have a headach or any other symptoms besides the tenderness and egg.
I decided not to go to the hospital …. that was hard for me I wanted to rush right there and calm my nerves.
anyways 12 hours later and I have to work in 7 hours time for a 8 hour shift and I could cry and tear my hair out rather then attempt sleep right now. I want to call someone and have them call and check on me every half hour I am going over and over in my head trying to come up with an action plan that will satisfy the anxiety .
Bottom line is I could really use some comforting reassurment that if i give in and try to get to sleep that I will be okay .
sorry to hear you are having a panic attack…… i think you will be absolutly fine….. you did really well not going to the hospital as thats what you wanted to do! I hate it when you are feeling that way and you have a dead line to feel better (eg going to work) and the more you think about that deadline the worse….. do you have an ipod or mp3 player you could listen too? and i dont mean just put the earphones in your ear …. i mean concentrate on listening to the words and mayby you will fall asleep ……..
this is what i do ….. i have the bible on my ipod which is spoken….. i listen to this and correct myself when my thoughts go elsewhere and go back to listening ….. it seems like its taking ages at the time but when i wake up in the morning i dont even remember droping off
hope this helps
fee x
Well, it's a little late (but I woke up late.) I hope that you were able to sleep. Glad to hear that your OCD has been decent. I have those little panic attacks too when something like that happens.
You are going to be OK. People have suffered worse injuries. Of course it hurt, but that's your body's way of telling you there's a little bit of damage. Just monitar your foot, make sure that the swelling goes down and that you can still feel it. (Blood flow.) Our bodies are built to handle tough stuff!!! It'll heal shortly!
Sorry, I can’t reassure you. I would have gone to have the foot x-rayed for a fracture or cracked bone. As far as head injuries. brain concussions need to be ruled out. In some cases the brain may have been moved by the blow. All these concerns would need ruled out by me, if I was the object of the injury.
Thanks guys ! I was fine after . I am having a lot of health related obsessions and they suck. Because before I would have known my body and beenable to make a logical decision now when I dont think it's a big deal I get anxious , when it is a big deal I get anxious, sometimes I think it could be a big deal but I dont act on it because I think it's just my ocd blowing it out of preportion. I totally agree , when it is your time , it is your time you can spend your life being careful and over thinking everything or you can just live. Unfourtanitly ocd I find dosn't really give you the option of not thinking … or not caring .
Either way I appreciate all your support and comments : )