Hi Tribers …
It's been a couple months since I've written anything here. I guess this site isn't quite what I was hoping it would be, but maybe I just haven't put forth the necesarry effort to build an online support network yet. Anyways, I'm not really sure where this entry is going, so I'm just going to let it flow.
About a year ago I started regularly seeing a therapist (I've been bouncing in and out of various treatments since the 5th grade.) After about six months, I really started to notice some changes. Well, it was the result of a lot of work and honesty with myself. Basically, all the anxiety was still there, I just figured out little tricks to help myself cope with it. Then I go a referal to a Dr… I was very skeptical at first, but long story short I ended up on prozac, starting 2 weeks ago. I really feel like the anxious thoughts are starting to lessen. I'm not sure if that's a placebo affect or what it is, but either way I'm thankful.
In 40 days I will be sober for 3 years. Miracle. I was hospitalized because of my addiction a couple times… I could be way worse off than I am right now. Speaking of addiction, my girlfriend is in rehab now. Which is good, because before that she was in jail. It's hard, me being a recovering addict and all… but I'm glad I can be there to support her. I get to visit her on Sundays, which is nice.
I'm training for a Half Ironman. Not as much as I should be, but I had a halfway decent week last week and I'm hoping to do even better this week.
I really do hate my job. I've been working it forever ……… I don't know. I'm in school for graphic design and I hope to change careers sooner rather than later. I'm going on 26 years old and I'm working in a kitchen, still. Ugh. Makes me feel like a failure. But I'm good and it and I'm a very faithful worker.
I'm actually at school right now. It's one of my "safe places." I like it here. I am going to get going now so I can work on a poster that is going to get critiqued tonight. Have a good night guys… and someone talk to me !!
Congrats on 3 years sobriety! That\'s a huge accomplishment in itself.
I see you’re in Yipsi. I’ve been living in the Metro Detroit area for 5 or 6 years now. Just curious, have you looked into local support groups. I’m trying to find if there is anything out there for anxiety support?
Just an observation, so take it with a grain of salt. Over the years I’ve come to find that addicts and former addicts are in good company. I was in a 4 year relationship with a girl who was also battling anxiety and addiction. We sincerely cared for each other, but it always seemed that we were holding each other back from making progress. I was sober for over 3 years, but was always agonizing over the relationship. Ultimately, I decided that the only way to escape the problem was for me to move away…far, far away.
It seemed like a painful decision at the time but I knew it was best for the both of us. Eventually I found a girl who was very supportive, ambitious and had a good head on her shoulders. We married 2 years later and started a family. Later, I was told that my Ex connected with an old acquaintance of mine and was happily married with a son. It brought comfort knowing that she was also in a good place.
Not suggesting that you ditch your old lady tonight. Just want to rule out that your relationship is not contributing to your condition.
As for the other stuff, forget about it! You’re young…still in college. Who gives a shit if you’re working in a kitchen? You’re supposed to go through several crappy jobs until you land something you love doing. It’s just part of life.
Good luck
you are working
you have a girlfriend
you are in collge
you are training for a marathon
you are doing projects for school
you are doing what you need to do for therapy
you are reaching out for support
and you have gratitude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all very normal things!!!!!!!!!:)
keep it up!!!
very good job!!!!
those are all very wonderfuL things 🙂
Thats awesome!!! You are working on a better you. I to am looking for a support group. i thik thats what we are all looking for. you are making wonderful strides. Keep it up.