5-5-08
Goal: To meet with Psychiatrist
Mood: Extremely irritated
May 5 – Day 1 officially of Rehab
Lower Level One – Riverview Medical Center
Well sleep sucked. We (Bonnie and I) had a male patient decide in the middle of the night to use our bathroom cause he could not make it to his room. So proceeded to shit all over our bathroom following that I went to the nurses desk to get something to help me sleep. I was woken up at 5:45 a.m., to have blood drawn.
The facility is big but is it disgusting! The floors in the bathrooms are old and have black filth in the moliding. Haven’t showered yet so can’t really report on that yet.
I wanted all day to see the damn psychiatrist Dr. Kelleher. Who is a total fucking ass. He increased all my meds. I am hoping that tomorrow I will meet with my social worker and she can start making plans on getting me the hell out of here.
3 of my friends left today but we will meet up in AA meetings. Since I have to go to those meeting now because I have been in somewhat denial about my drug abuse, yes that is correct I am a drug abuser.
Today my mood is very angry. Angry at myself for putting myself in this place – next time I have any fucking thoughts about hurting myself I am going to call my mother or find my husband and talk to them. There will be NO NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I should be able to sleep considering the increased all my doses and put me on seroquel for my anxiety.
Tomorrow will be day 2 – 3 or 4 of my friends are going to be leaving and I was talking to tony on the phone earlier and he tells me how can they be your friends when you just met them. I explained to him that I can call them my friends because they all have something in common with me.
Until tomorrow….