So last night I had this very strange, very normal dream. I was at this pool type party. My friends were there and some guy I was apparently dating. Well normally in my dreams I avoid the water, as I’m afraid of it, in real life too, I just dont trust the water, weird I know, well in my dream my cousin was there and we were standing on the edge of the pool and she asked me if I was ready. I looked at her, looked at the pool and said lets do it. Then we just jumped in! We did a few "water tricks" and then we got out. When I got out of the pool I remember I felt so happy and so attractive and almost relieved. In all my dreams I’ve never jumped in the water. Never. But I did in this one, and even got in a 2nd time. I hugged my friends and had a really awesome time, in the dream. When I woke up I felt relaxed and relieved at the same time. Throughout the entire day I’ve noticed my OCD wasnt as nearly bad as it normally is, I’m a germaphob btw. I’ve been in this "so what mood"…So what if I dont was my hands after i do this, or so what if I touch this. Is is possible that I "cured" myself?? Could my brain really of "rebooted" and fixed the glinch? I’m a little worried that what if tomorrow it’s ten times worse but for today I’m happy and my ocd is almost none existent. Now I know that what I believed happen is impossible. Theres really no way this dream "cured" me but it feels like it. Yesterday was a bad day and I remember I just kept repeating I wish I didnt have this and that I could be the person I use to be. Maybe my brain said it had enough to and helped me in my dream. Maybe by jumping in the pool and being ok it was my brains way of showing me that its ok to let this go, I’ll be ok….I dont know what happened during the dream but something did and regardless of whether or not my OCD comes back just a bad, I’m thankful and glad that I got one day….One day without this horrible disease…..

 

As for my OCD. It is/was horrible. Almost impossible to deal with. Tho I was good at hiding it. I’m a germaphob. It was rather annoying and to the point where it was ruining my life.

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