What is love? Love can be defined in so many ways imaginable. Different countries throughout the world have different views of what the meaning of love is. Is love what makes you feel whole? Is love your other half that was missing all of your life? What is love? To me, love is what you think about, what you live for, what you dream about. Love is the power you feel inside when you know that you have developed strong feelings for that individual that has made an impact on your life. Love is a strong emotion, word, feeling…whatever you may want to call it. Love is what you feel for somebody, a desire you feel in your body, your heart, soul, mind…Love is special. I have to admit that I thought love was just another hoax, like what magicians do when they form their “magic tricks”. It is funny how I thought love never existed in the first place. Well, actually it’s sort of sad. I am going to try and explain as best as I possibly can. Growing up, I received no love. I never experienced what love was in my younger years. How did I know what love was and is; considering the environment I was in. Abuse was practiced on me and my brother while growing up. I didn’t know what was going on. All i knew was that I was being hit, slapped, spanked, beat, thrown, kicked, and burned. I was called names, spit at, taunted, and yelled at. No one cared about me or my brother, who was going through the same exact thing. We were in the same home. So that is why I never knew love existed. Love was unfamiliar in all ways. However, one day, I heard this guy tell a girl the words “I love you”. This was when I was 10 years old. That is when I realized that love was a word that could be used to manipulate others to your advantage. So that’s what I did. I found love in the wrong way through guys and even girls. I became cold in the heart; causing others pain without caring about how they felt. Why should I have loved anyone sincerely when all I had received was heartbreak and pain? I couldn’t even bring myself to come to that idea of loving somebody without fear. However, I soon found a guy who I thought actually loved me, and I soon began to truly love him. We were happy, inseparable, content, and stress-free being with each other. Then I found out he was cheating on me with a girl who looked more pretty than me, had a nice body, and other things. This is why I don’t like the word “love”. The word always ends up hurting people. It hurt ME. I will never let myself get dragged down again.
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I am so sorry for all you have been through. Love does exist, it is just hard to find. A parent's love is supposed to be unconditional but I know for you (and for me) that that isn't always the case. Be careful with your heart, but try to remember there are still good people out there who care. Hugs 🙂