I don't think it's sunk in yet. I have made the decision to get help. I did it. I actually told someone I was an addict. I am an addict. I couldn't stop. I was sick. I needed help. It was so easy. I still think almost too easy.
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I've taken suboxone before but I got it off the street. I ended up abusing it. Flip flopping between the blue guys and subs in a constant state of confusion. Chasing the subs in the same mind set and manner I had when I was chasing percs. The percs were easier to get and at least I got a buzz at the end of the chase. So back to percs full time I ran.
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I knew I couldn't take time of from my life to go to detox and treatment. I'm a complete functioning addict. No one knew unless they were told then some pieces would fall into place and they would recognise the addict within me that they were always blind to. I would make sense. However, without being told, many people still don't know. How do you detox quietly????
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I looked up physicians in my area on www.suboxonedoctors.com. I called and asked the receptionist if they were taking new patients for suboxone treatment. They said yes. Got me in that day. I went in and 15 minutes later left with a script for more subs that I needed for the next week. There will be random drug tests but its cool that pot will be showing up on my drug test. Its hard enough kicking the percs. I need my green. The doctor understood this.
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My insurance covers this but through reading the paperwork I signed, it's rather expensive if you are paying out of pocket. At this particular office it was $500 for the intake appointment. Thereafter, $275 a month. I'm pretty sure this expense did not cover the actual cost of the suboxone which at the pharmacy, without insurance, is roughly $11.60 per 8mg pill.
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Maybe this has all been made so easy for me simply because I have insurance. Most of the addicts I have known in my life were not the type to be sure to carry a good insurance plan. I've known/been with many addicts in my past but maybe I was only drawn to the desperate kind. There are many kinds of addicts. I could be addict niave I suppose.
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The first step has felt good and awful all at once. I'm scared as fuck yet forward I step. I'm scared as fuck yet I must persist.
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Peace. Love. Sobriety.
Hi, I was in your exact position four months ago. You should be proud of yourself for pursuing this change in your life. Subs do wonders, but they certainly are not the answer to your problems. I found that by adopting new hobbies, I was able to find outlets for my cravings and desires. If I were you, I would seriously consider this. Also, it may not hurt to look into doctors who are actually addiction therapists; they are much more experienced in this field. Consider physical activity. Endorphins are miraculous when going through this. You would be surprised how good it feels to be in shape.I haven't told mny people about what I am going through, and it will always be that way. It is completely up to you to reveal your addiction to others. However,it may be a good idea to tell people who truly care about you. They will have to accept it whether or not they like it. Unfortunately society today has developed a negative connotation towards addiction. It's only our faults to a certain extent! A majority of the time, addicts have some underlying mental disorder. I was diagnosed with bipolar syndrome, which came as a complete surprise. However, the meds have made my recovery even smoother. You are your own person, but you must make the right decisions. Even falling once could result in a big relapse period. Best of luck. Stay clean! You have a whole life ahead of you!