We’ve known each other well for a while. You and I have a love-hate relationship, though I wish that we had no relationship at all. Has it been two and a half years since I was diagnosed with you? Why can’t you just go away?
You make me feel helpless, and I hate it. I know you are just a chemical imbalance in my brain due to genetics, but you feel like so much more. We have a love-hate relationship, though I wish we had no relationship at all.
How could you do this? You and I have a love-hate relationship, and right now I wish that we had no relationship at all. Just the other day I wanted to just sing in public without a care in the world, but instead, you decided to bother me and I rejected the offer. Two and a half years and you just won’t go away.
I felt incredibly panicked as if the walls were closing in on me. I wanted to puke, felt sick to my stomach and my head hurt. I just wanted to sing. We have a love-hate relationship, and right now I wish we had no relationship at all.
I guess you’re not always so bad. We have a love-hate relationship, but I kind of love you right now. You made me feel uneasy and that motivated me to study hard and get a good grade on my test. I guess two and a half years isn’t that long, maybe you don’t need to go away.
I looked at that test and knew without studying I would have died. Due to studying though, I breezed through it and even got 105% on it. My parents are proud and for a second I didn’t feel numb and impartial to life. We have a love-hate relationship, maybe I Iove you just a little.
Is it really necessary to gang up with my numb indifference and torment me? We have a love-hate relationship, right now I don’t really care. You make me feel sick sometimes, make me work hard other times, and yet right now you just want to give up. I prefer you to bother me as opposed to being numb. so why, since two and a half years do you just have to disappear for a while and leave me feeling cold and alone? Why go away now?
It’s terrible and overwhelming when you leave, and also when you are here. I feel like life is just useless, that I will never amount to everything, at least you make me feel like what I’m trying to accomplish while scary is still important. We have a love hate relationship, so what?
While we still don’t agree with each other we have a better relationship, love-hate, so what? You used to make me so uncomfortable that I would harm myself just to end the feeling of anger and sorrow that came as a result of you. I used to be cruel to those I loved and cry myself to sleep as I thought I was weak. Two and a half years and you haven’t gone away, that’s okay.
I don’t feel so sad anymore, I don’t hurt myself either. You make me feel bad sometimes, sure, but for the most part you are just helping me. You are what is motivating me to become a psychiatrist to help others like me. We have a love hate relationship, but that’s okay, I am fine with you now.
-Your partner in life