Impressed is definatly my mood right now.. I’m impressed with myself…
‘ve been doing alot of cleaning out today. I’m trying to get rid of all the bad stuff that has poluted my life and my bedroom for too long. I first started with all the basic cleaning, then I went on to cleaning out all my draws. I came to my little "cutting kit" so to speak. You cutters out there know what i’m talking about. The little kit that has everything, the blades ect. Well I THREW IT OUT!! It felt amazing to get rid of it. I’m so glad that I was able to do it! Its like i’m leaving that part of me behind. Ready to start new. I was able to get rid of a whole heap of my empty liquor bottles two. I’ve had to be careful in how I get rid of those. I can’t let mum see them. I’ve still got a few to get rid of tomorrow. I can’t belive how many I had. Its really shocking. I think i’ve found around 20 or more. Shocking. Its really shocking. I’m proud of myself for getting rid of the "Kit". This is a really good step.
Anyway my room is looking cleaner. Feeling healthier. Tomorrow i’m going to get rid of those few more bottles, and clean out my closet and draws of all the clothes that no longer fit me, or I don’t wear. I’m planning on selling a whole heap of "junk" or unused stuff in a car boot sale on saturday, to that’ll bring in a few dollars I hope too. No point keeping these things that I don’t even use. There are even a few things that I have NEVER used, like a small vaccum cleaner?! I have NO idea why I even brought that! Its amazing how we get so caught up in "Stuff". I’m feeling lighter just with cleaning everything and getting rid of the old stuff.
It was pretty hot today, so doing all this cleaning, I definatly worked up a sweat, and i’m pretty tired.
This Is feeling good.
It is alot of work leaving those things behind, and it is a great accomplishment. It”s also very easy to turn back. For me, the harder part was dealing with the things that led me to do those things to begin with. One of the hardest things was learning to love myself again, and it”s still a struggle. Now I don”t mean stand in front of the mirror, and get the mindset that you”re God”s gift to humanity. I”ve got a brother that loves himself enough for everyone that way and he”s still not very happy with himself. More the type that I truly care about my own well-being enough to work on the things that caused me so much pain in the past. I know it sounds simple, but it”s not always so simple for me. Might have something to do with that Bipolar thing???