I am 23 and i found out i was HIV positive the ending of January 2016 started medication feb,i had no signs i just went and did the test the person and i werent together when i did the test. Its only my doctors kno that i am positive and i dont think i want to tell anyone…Someone who is 54wants to marry to meand he is living in another country but we are talking for awhile now. He have good plans for me and my childbut i dont know how to tell him that i am positive……I trust Godcause i am a christian but the man is not thinking that i have HIV. I want him to know before summer but i dont have the courage to tell him cause of afraid of losing him. My next test should be 3 months after and that would be may and i am praying for a miracle….I told my soon to be husband i want to do a HIV test but iam afraid to go back on the topic to let him …..i cry sometimes about being positive even though i try to accept the fact.

I know being positive and taking the medications can let me livea normal life. The fact that i think about alot being positive alot may be stressing buti am trying to keep it together. Everyone thinks i am ok but behind my smiles and being nice i am fallingapart knowing if anyone knows it will be different especially for a love life. Even writing this is blog tears are running down my cheeks. But as the preacher at church today states that everyone has here season.When we think all doors are close thats when Jesus steps in and he made reference to characters in the bible like david and samson so i believe the Lord will sill work it out for me.

Have a blessed night everyone