Wow whats a girl to think?

5 years ago I started chatting on the internet with a lovely fella from the US.  I was moving to the west coast of Canada at the time and he decided to move up to Washington State from California.  I ended up meeting someone when I arrived in my new city and I totally lost touch with my American buddy.

I must admit that during my relationship I did at times wonder if I should have intsead pursued things with my American.  After my relationship dissolved, I got back in touch with him through email and we\'ve been chatting ever since ( 2 1/2 years).  I finally made it down to California this summer and we met up on 2 different occassions.

I was completely anxiety free when I was out with him – which was shocking b/c I usually get anxiety when I\'m with new people and in new places.  I totally thought there was a bit of a "spark" there but wasn\'t sure at the time what I was thinking.  I am not a risk taker at all usually when it comes to this stuff – I dont often put myself out there but this time I thought no way I\'m going to say something – I\'m not waiting another 5 years!

I emailed him about 2 days after we met for the 2nd time (and I was back home) telling him how nice it was to meet him and telling him that I felt like an idiot for missing my chance with him all those years ago.  He replied saying that he had fun too – but that distance has always been a factor and that its tough to start a relationship with someone new doing a long distance thing.

I replied saying I totally understood – that I guess a little part of me always hoped something would have worked out.  But I\'m happy just being friends – I just needed to know instead of wondering.

He then sends me a snarky email saying how he wishes I had been upfront with him about this when I was there – if I was wondering what was going on we should have talked about it when I was with him. 

Ummmm what difference would that have made???? I\'m soooooo confused!!!!! I got really upset and send a somewhat snide reply back and now we\'re not talking.  What the heck????