I’ve been depressed for more than half my life but lately it has gotten worse. Therapy is a waste of time; I don’t relate or connect to anyone; I’m struggling to find a job; I don’t know what to do. I’m really trying to improve. Earlier today I was feeling ok, but I started feeling down while I was applying for jobs. I’m not jealous of anyone, but it’s discomforting when I see others who have their lives together and I’m still in my thirties trying to get mine together. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time. Sometimes my depression gets so bad that I don’t feel like I have the motivation to do anything. Friends come and go. I’ve always been a better friend to others than they were to me. In the past when I’ve met someone I was usually the only one that initiated everything, but I’m not doing that again. Reaching out to people is a waste of time. I feel like a burden to everyone in my life. There’s nothing in my life to look forward to. I’m on always on the outside looking in. There’s no one to talk to. I’m completely alone. I want to die.