Where is your destination, eternally speaking?
I just returned from visiting with my family to say goodbye personally to my grandmother, who died today after a long struggle with alzheimer\'s disease.
It was interesting because I saw two realities at work. First, I saw the mercy of God. My grandmother, for the past three days, had been without sleep, incoherent and afraid, crying forth night and day the repeated plea: "God, take me home! Oh God, I\'m tired. Take me home!"
Knowing my grandmother\'s severe memory loss and that she must\'ve been dying inside for years, my heart broke for her when I heard the story. So I prayed her prayer…God, take her home. Break her suffering. Show her mercy! I wasn\'t aware if my grandmother had a relationship with God through repentance of sin and belief in Jesus Christ as Lord. Knowing this relationship was in question, her eternal destination may also have been in question. But I was convinced that God is merciful, and even if my grandmother\'s fate was to be judged by God according to her sins, even wrath at the hands of a just God would be better than the torment the devil was afflicting her with.
The heartfelt prayer for mercy was answered, as within a few days she was taken from her suffering. I was struck by how at rest and peaceful she looked, still lying in her bed at home. And I was thankful the family got to say goodbye to her in a personal and intimate way, each of us spending some time alone with her, remembering her love for us and ours for her.
But at the same time I was struck by the mercy of God in relieving her from the agony of Alzheimer\'s disease, I was struck by the ignorance of my family in their insistance that grandma was now "in a better place," "with grandpa", "with God." The reason I am so saddened by such insistance is, though it is comforting, it simply is not based in fact. If Grandma never evidenced an all-consuming faith, embodying the command to "love the Lord your God with all your heart," to "take up your cross and follow me", and she was never known to possess a faith that drove her to live for Christ, die to her sins, and let God dictate her actions, there is no reason to believe that she has somehow been universally accepted into God\'s Kingdom.
You say, she is already gone…why take issue with her eternal destination? The problem is, if she never made a profession of faith, or if she did and never allowed said faith to dictate her life, never really submitted her all to God, the insistance that she is now "in a better place" creates the assumption in the minds of my family (who I love dearly) that they, too, will go to Heaven apart from any real dedication to God. Believing this lie, they will continue to ignore how Holy God really is, live complacent in their sins, and die and face judgment and eternal wrath according to their deeds.
I fear writing this blog will probably get me outlawed from this tribe, as people here don\'t want to be reminded of their mortality, much less something as weighty as God\'s wrath for their sins. I will be saddened by that, especially if I\'m villainized or labeled a fanatic. Hopefully from my other posts people will realize I am a fun loving, gentle person, and I won\'t be viewed as a right wing zealout, often the caricature reserved for people who insist on Christianity\'s truth. I do fear such reprisal, but I have too much love for my fellow poz friends to not remind them that life is short, and apart from Christ, we are all under judgment, mainly for not being thankful and submitted to God as we should, and for not believing truly in Jesus, but also for every other wrong deed we\'ve done.
Life is short, and as HIV/AIDS patients, we know our life (though it very well could be long and prosperous) may be cut short. If we stand before God and realize we are under judgment, it won\'t matter if we lived to 30, or if we had 80 something years like my grandma. It will have seemed like nothing compared to the weight of eternity.
So I ask in love, do you know your destination? Have you sincerely asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins by His death on the cross and resurrection? Have you resolved to live your life for God\'s glory, not your own? Have you trusted in His great love and mercy?
Out of love I have to go further than that, because many of you will answer "yes" to all those questions, but your life does not reflect that assertion in any way. Here is a test:
Do you struggle to live for God? Do you love God by OBEYING His commands? (This means turning from sin…everything from drugs to homosexuality, to sex outside of marriage, or even pride and arrogance. Anything the bible calls sin must be done away with). Does your love for God evidence itself in your love for (first) other Christians, and (second) your fellow man? Do you love the secular, non-bible centered philosophies of life the world at large lives by, or do you desire to find God\'s way?
The book of 1st John (which puts forth the preceeding criteria) is a book about how to tell if your faith is real. Also note, the book of James insists "faith without works is dead." This doesn\'t mean you can earn salvation by good works. It means, faith without a changed life is not real faith.
To sum up, never lose sight of God\'s love. He truly is kind and compassionate. But never assume his faithfulness to you will continue forever unconditionally. If you sin, your soul is in danger.
Question yourself, please! Seek God with an open heart about whether you are going to Heaven. If no, accept Christ, repent, and find rest for your souls in Him, then live accordingly.
First off i am sorry to hear your grandmother , i was very close with mine and she passed the end of last year.
“I fear writing this blog will probably get me outlawed from this tribe”
That stood out to me, i cant recall your other blogs so i dont know the type you usually write or the type of person you really are. how ever this blog is one from your heart . i dont see it as fanatical or obsessive . you are simply stating your recent experience and your thoughts on your grandmothers beliefs or possible lack of , as well as your own beliefs in god . Though i do not agree with certain things you have said, condoning someone solely based on the religious views they have is something i wont do. also i dont think you need to worry about be outlawed from tribe……….take care
I am truly sorry for your loss Matt. My mother has been diagnosed as in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Thankfully so far, she only has severe short-term memory loss. She is 86 years old and I find myself hoping that god will take her before the disease progressed any further…I call her nearly every day and sometimes on one of her “good” days she surprises me by giving me a call…
She tells each other every time that we love each other, but in a recent call she surprised me by telling me how proud she is of me to be her son…I was totally caught off guard because she was raised old school and always was so “afraid of what the neighbors would say” of they kner her youngest son was gay. I think she finally realized very late in life that it didn’t matter what anyone thought but her…( and besides, if the neighbors didn’t already know, they were totally clueless because where I come from if you aren’t married by the time you are 25, well………).
In any case it was a wonderful thing to hear even at this late stage of her life…She spent so many years in turmoil and emotional anguish over me. Largely thanks to my sister , a born-again Pentecostal who kept my mother in a constant state of anxiety and fear over my eternal soul….harping to my mother that I was going to spend eternity in the “lake of fire prepared for Satan and his followers.”
Having studied the Old and New Testaments a bit myself, I have to take issue with being grouped in with “drug addicts, adulterers, ,thieves, murderers and all the usual suspects.
The Old Testament was a grouping af Judaic Law necessary for the survival of a struggling band of Tribes….It consisted of practical laws as well as moral laws …an early governing system . In those days it was “better to “waste a mans seed in the belly of a whore than on the ground.” (that is a loose quote but accurate in it’s meaning) Homosexuality was considered a waste of procreational ability and that was a huge threat to a people who were barely clinging on the edge of extinction on a GOOD day.
Eating Shellfish and Pork were also condemned for practical reasons and were written into the law as was the punishment for a woman wearing a red dress…as was the law of cutting off of the hands of a thief.
If we still followed those practices to the letter of the old Judaic Law, we would be: putting to death any women who wears a red dress…. killing all homosexuals for not procreating…..punishing or killing anyone who eats pork or shellfish….we would still be also be offering our virgin daughters up for the highest bidders….
I was taught that Jesus Christ came to write the NEW law, a law of mercy, tolerance and forgiveness. The new law that allowed the thief crucified at Jesus side to enter the kingdom of heaven…
Under gods new plan of mercy….god realizes that all of us have come short of perfection and if it were up to the old Judaic law….heaven would be empty… because we are all condemned….
By the way, the translation for ” SIN” first in Hebrew then into Greek and then Latin and into the King James Version….was an archery term ( as in bows and arrows)…..it simply meant “missing the mark.” We have of course all “missed the mark” in some form or fashion…we all are flawed humans and fall so short of the perfection of god…That is why as Christians, we believe that god sent an avatar…a piece of himself in human form….his son if you will…to live as a human, to see first hand…and take mercy on our human condition…in other words to DIE for being human!
That is my faith Matt…and if it my particular flaw to be homosexual, then it is one that I have known and recognized since I was six years old… When god judges me…I can only rely on my faith that he will have mercy on me as well as any other flawed human who has “missed the mark.”
Gods Peace and Blessing to you and your family Matt,
Loki