I suffer from obsessions and counting.
I never knew that there was anything wrong until I heard Howard Stern talking about OCD and how Deepak Chopra helped him deal with his illness.
At that very moment it was like a ton of bricks hit me. I have OCD!
I tried not to visit DR for a long, long time but finally broke down and went to a psychiatrist. They are quick to dole out drugs.
I was on drugs for a many years and felt like a zombie. Along with the numbness I had suicidal thoughts about every 3 seconds.
During this time I had a coworker who wanted to get rid of two kittens. I took em cuz they were going to the pound. Who would have thought that would be the beginning of the rest of my life.
Exposure to cats, cat hair, all the playing and noise and touching and licking and litter and smells and disease and fear and anger and all of the other horrible things that those two little kittens did made me want to crawl out of my skin and into a pot of boiling bleach.
After a few years with the cats I met and married a lady with two kids. Exposure to kids, sticky fingers, sneezing, disease carrying, disgusting dirty little kids made me want to peel my skin off and set it on fire!
After all these years, I have noticed that with the exposure of all things that I feared my OCD has leveled out at a manageable level. I was crippled by the anxiety attacks and they still happen but not as bad as a few years ago. The counting is still present but I CAN leave the house in 15 minutes compared to the hour it used to take me. I still lay awake at night for a couple of hours worrying, but not all night like I used to.
I got off the drugs and although every day is a challenge I have learned to deal with this ever present "being" within me.
After going thru the torment of the last 12 years I can say that Exposure Therapy really works and if I had a pro helping me it would have worked better. I've suffered from OCD for over 35 years and know how difficult and trying this thing can be. Keep Hope Alive, Fight and Cope Every Day! YOU CAN WIN!
You are absolutely correct. The cats and the kids taught you that it was all in your head. Nothing really adversely happened to you when you were confronted with the dirt of everyday life. I hope the kittens got to live a normal lifespan without becoming victims of your ocd. I am assuming that you and the lady you married and the dirty little kids are still together and you are all thriving. Learning to live a fairly normal life, through exposure therapy also makes you stronger and less fearful. You talk about some of your issues are still there, but not the problem they were. This is absolutely correct when one realizes that normal and ocd are a matter of degree, of living. It isn’t like the measels where you have them or you don’t. I wish you increase success in finding life’s balances.