Today was a pretty good day.  I feel like I got a lot accomplished at work, we had a great time at church, and I got to spend a little time with my friend at work.  I have decided that I just need to accept the fact that I am depressed and quit fighting it.  There is nothing in my life to make me depressed…everything is great.  I know that it is a biological problem.  The medications that I have tried seem to work for a while, but then I get depressed again.  I believe that that points to a demonic influence.  I believe that Satan desires to destroy us all, and that he assigns some of his helpers to us in order to accomplish that if he can.  I am looking at this depression as my "thorn in the flesh" and just like Paul, I know that God's grace will be sufficient to get me through this somehow.  Things have calmed down with my obsession for my friend, and that helps.  I have learned to control my obsession externally, and maybe this is the opportunity to learn how to control it internally as well.  My friend knows all about my ocd, but I don't think she has any idea about how much she has actually helped me in learning how to control this.  I am hoping that things are starting to look up.  I was in a pretty dark place earlier this summer, and I don't want to go back there.  I would actually like to channel my obsessive energy into something constructive if I can learn how to do that.  If any of you have any insight as to how to do that, I would appreciate your advice.  I am not where I want to be (I have a long way to go!) but I am at least a lot better than I was just a few short weeks ago.

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