Almost 30, soon I'll be in the tomb. My youth is Gone. Up to this very point since the morning ofwednesday october 23rd 1985, I have had a nightmarish, deplorable excuse for a life on Earth. All because all those wierd demonic evil parasite thingies that call themselfs humans. To have Socially shunning me my whole life from there culture which Now I am glad I truely want nothing to do with, Now I actually go to great lengeths to teach and train my brain To subconcously not accept, or seek out, or want comfort in. "Humans" as them parasitic beasts call themselfs are a useless breed. They never have accepted me, I shall not accept them. How GD Dare Them freaking parasites Label me with being autistic or mentally handicappedas if those soulless vessels knowmy soul better than Ido. And to shun me and my existence into a blackhole, sure as Hell did no good. if they were ever so concerned about me being like them, which they never were as they maybe pertendly acted like it just to hurt my being beyond all the emotional damage they have caused me in my 10724 days in this nightmare of a existence. "people" in relationships I pity the most, people whom for can have sexual encounters daily without having to pay are nothing more than F666ing overgrownparasitic fectal ooz that did not deserve to exist. how dare them just thick they are better than me just cause they can F666 all they want to and make more parasites.

How dare them cause me grief with those monsterous weapons of theirs that they call motor vehicles to harass me to the point where i'm not comfortable enough to leave my apartment just to go anywhere rather it be by riding my bike or walking, to yell at me from them ugly monsterous things, or honk at me rudely, I mean GD just having to listen to the damn sounds of the engines, and sounds of the tires on the road is enough to make me thinkcrazily when I have to listen to the abusive sounds besides be force to have their damnaning lights in my eyes, not saying when or where but I have had thoughts of throwing poop, rocks, bottles/buckets of rotten urine, eggs at theirugly monsterous weapons,to avenage all the agany they have cause me from their "motor vehicles"

keeping my innermore thoughts here asopposedto letting out onfacebook as I continue to not take my meds, cause I don't want anyone I know in real life to have a clue I have not been taking my meds, As they'll try to make my life worse if they knew, but it actually does help to let it out somewhere even though I personally know no entity that sees this blog will give a damn; when I started writting this blog I was feeling very maniac now i feel like 67% better. looking forward to the day when my Brain is totally used to not having the dopamine assistence I was getting from my meds which I can no longer afford to take, Which I have not taken for at least 10 days now…

2 Comments
  1. onelyric 6 years ago

    I'm glad you were able to get out what you were feeling….I'm not sure what to say but…..someone cares…I care

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  2. Sasha1969 6 years ago

    Depression sucks.  That just sums it up.  People have other words to describe it.  For myself Trying to think up adjectives and adverbs to describe a beast that will never let me go depresses me even further.  I will not bore you with my experiences or thoguhts.  We all feel it and comparing suffereing is a waste of time.  I will just say that you DO write very well and it would be truly interesting to read more.

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