I would stare into nothing while i sat during my lunch breaks at work. Something was in my mind , screaming in the back of my head , echoing into my body. Its been there for so long , i dont know what is haunting me … thats possibly the best way ive ever put it .

Today was a very productive day , it was my day off but i took a shift at work anyways. i started at 7am-4pm, it was better than i thought it would be. I offically have a car, it has insurance , its registered i just need to buy a battery and a tire . Overall , im excited to finally drive around instead of taking the damn city bus. My circle of friends are closing up, but i see that as a good thing . Im finally going to really dedicate myself so i can eat healthier and hit the gym twice a day now . I see that as the only way of me really getting into the shape i want . Im also going to register to take my GED ASAP because i fucked up and its the best thing i could do , its the first step to leaving this city . Deep inside my heart , thats what i really want … get my education, be healthy & succeed.

Im proud of myself because a year ago , i would have never said that .

i would have said something like this :

"i want to be skinny , find my soulmate and be rich "

Realistic — that is who i have become & some people hate that im like that . They think im a huge pessimist , i just like to know what to expect.

I was in a 2 year and 11 month relationship that ended Feb,1,2014.

It took a huge toll in my life , im not just saying that so you (the reader , whomever you may be ) feel bad for me , becuase i would never change anything that happened .

From PAIN , you learn to LOVE more …

ever since the relationship ended , ive had a hard time finding someone new, some people i like tend to be jerks that use me , cheat on me and think less of me .

i realized that maybe i dont need to rush into anything , and i admit i did rush things with everyone after the break up.

As of right now , im dating my co-worker . we are fairly distant , we spend time together , smoke weed and watch tv, pick our brains and enjoy each others company . I dont feel strongly about him , i feel like maybe we could grow into each other , for now im taking it slow and focusing on me first .

i was dating someone online and when i told his father i wouldnt be able to buy a plane ticket becuase i was short on rent , he flipped and told me i was selfish . today after some months of not speaking to each other i tell him how well my life is going and he blames me for leaving him , when in reality he was just a negative person , he would take me down with him if i didnt leave first . He would be angry becuase i never said i loved him , funny part was … he was older than me by a few years and i felt like i was more mature . He sent me a message saying he never wants to hear from me or his father again because i walked out on him & he hates his father for basically letting me walk out of his life .

anyways , i know that was unnessisary but i had it bugging me..

the reason why i called myself lefty is becuase march/april–ish of 2014 i tried killing myself and i cut up my left arm pretty bad . not so so deep scars but bad in quantity .

im keeping my name / state anonymous .

but thank you for reading , welp … who ever read this far into my intro-bio.

goodnight guys <3