I… How do I start this… I’m addicted to self harm and… Oh god my moms so mad at me. She’s known and I promised and made a contract not to harm and in return I got contact with friends… and I had a slip up today and I cut about 18 times, mostly shallow small cuts.. But… I need help and someone to just… identify with on this thing…  because my moms constantly saying sh understands and I know she doesnt, and i know she hates me… shes said so before… and she scares the hell out of me… I’m honestly terrified of her… and I hate how I can’t escape her… I wish I would have died in my suicide attempt not too long ago but I fucking survived and its so hard because I fail at everything… I wish i would have suceeded one last and for the first time… in death… I… I shouldn’t even egsist. And My birth mom didn’t even wwant me so she gave me away befor I was even born… She didn’t think I was worht the time… I… It hurts… It hurts  and that along wit how my adoptie mom treats me i feel like a waste of spac tima dn energy… God… I’m so waek… I’m srory…

6 Comments
  1. brokendoll17 10 months ago

    I understand i had a suicide attempt a month ago, i almost succeeded but was put on life support and was stuck in a coma for two weeks. But you see hun, no one realizes self harm is addictive until you try to stop, i know i still cut sometimes. But if i may make a suggestion? Try using nail polish and painting your wrist, then use your nails to peel off the paint. you get a short pain and no one knows about it. But the problem with your mom, i’m not sure i just got out of an abusive household my mom being the abusive one, but i’m not sure what to do there hun.

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  2. aquazium 10 months ago

    ohhh i’m so sorry, I’m crying with you. We’re here for you. You aren’t alone. There are people here who understand what you’re going through.
    You are so, so strong. You’re trying so hard to stop hurting yourself. That’s so hard. Wow.
    There’s a REASON you’re still here. You need to find it. God has a plan for you, there’s a reason you’re still alive. Do you have a therapist? do you have other support besides your mom? That’s why I’m here.
    You can do this, @shadowmoon1123. You’re going to be okay. Breathe. It’ll be okay.

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    • Author
      shadowmoon1123 10 months ago

      I… I do have a theripist… and my mom is not my only support but I currently live alone with her.. and It’s so hard..

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  3. starrfire 10 months ago

    I wish more people actually tried to understand and listen. I was a cutter for so many years, and my biological father and step mom constantly yelled at me because of it, would have my sister check me before bed to see if there were any new marks, and put me in a mental hospital for it when I was a teenager. I learned that the reason that I cut, was because I was feeling so many emotions and I hurt everywhere and didn’t really know how to make sense of it. I cut because it was a release for me and because I knew that the pain I felt was because of the cutting and felt like I was draining some of the pain and sadness out. I have many scars on my arms,legs, stomach, and when people see them they stare at me, I used to cover them. But I haven’t cut in many years now, and I am not ashamed of my journey. I hope that you can find some peace, and find someone to talk to that does understand, and doesn’t make you feel like less of a person because you are hurting. You are not alone.

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    • Author
      shadowmoon1123 10 months ago

      Thank you for shareing… I’m sorry that your parents did that.. My mo’s like that, as I said.. and thank you..

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  4. 23skuhn 6 months ago

    i know what its like
    i cut myself several times
    my mom was really mad at me but didn’t yell
    sometimes im called names
    i have transphobic parents and trump supporters and im stuck
    i don’t know what to do
    but u can always message me

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