My ocd is back full force today the anxiety the compulsions everything . I know I should take my own advice and try and be strong but we all know how hard that is … 

 

it makes me feel like I'm a terrible person, stupid ,crazy and the anxiety is terrible it's the worst feeling in the world to wake up in the morning and feel like your head has been frozen and is now in a really hot room and unthawing , tingleing ears burning heart racing stomach churning.  I absolutly HATE it ! 

 

I said to a close friend last night I dont know why I cant be like a normal person and I know thats a terrible thing to say about myself because I am a normal person I just mean that I wish I wasnt worried about things that the average person wouldnt think twice about . Why do I take little things that anyone else would shrug off and let it eat my brain alive.  She told me I should be happy that I care more about things that more people should care a little more about germs and contamination and washing their hands which is comforting a little but it's different to have to go through it you know what I mean? 

 

I know it will subside eventually and that I have to be strong as hard as it is it's just those days when it's back and it's full force it feels hopeless and terrible. I'm not necessisarliy asking for advice with this blog because I know myself how to cope.  I just needed to vent to get it out to lessen the anxiety a little and right now it's too early to call anyone , thats what I love about here .

 

All the same thank you to anyone who reads this and takes the time out to reply I'm sure when I get home it will help me to read it  : ) But I have to go and try and get ready and get to work :S  Should be a fun day

1 Comment
  1. mandy86 12 years ago

     Thanks so much guys all of your posts made me feel a lot better. The anxiety started to subside yesterday afternoon and today was a lot better. No mind you my compulsions are a little stronger , I havnt been able to take the clean dishes out of the dishewasher for the last two days because I know the anxiety that will cause and the last two days dealing with anxiety from work I really dont want to handle it again I know thats giving into it but baby steps is better then none at all right ? 

     

    And yes Frank it's true I totally think having ocd has it's benifits it makes me more aware, compassionate and has totally changed the way I look at things in my life , made me enjoy/ make the most of things. They say god has a plan for us all and that everything happens for a reason ocd symptoms are terrible and so hard sometimes but the changes it has made in my life with regards to everything mentioned above  I would not trade for the world my Good days are SO much better I rarely have an off day but it just reminds me to appreciate the good days so much more. 

     

    I know I will feel better in a week or so it's just getting through that time that is hard and having you all on here for support is fabulous !  I am so grateful for this site and for all of your comments : )  Thank you all so much for giving me some peace of mind tonight xox

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