Today I pushed myself. The only thing that feels right is to lay in bed right now. It is all I really want to do
I made myself get out of bed, showered, got dressed and ready(even make up / hair), watered plants, took care of pets, worked on improving the house, did a load of laundry, trimmed my hair, and made a effort to sit up more than lay down. I forced myself when I wanted to lay down to do so in the backyard on the patio furniture verses inside going back to bed.
I made myself eat and drink liquids even though I have no appetite.
One step in front of another….
It is all can do right now. It is the best I can do.
Now, countdown to going to bed at 6. Sleep and shutting down sound lovely. I feel very discouraged.
The people in this horrible town, neighborhood and husbands cruel/ hateful relatives (also neighbors as well) are starting to have a bad effect on me.
I give up on finding a job here I get it. Outsiders are not welcome.
My current plan is to stay home or in the backyard unless I am driving out of town to errands or just to escape “here” and “them.”
Thanks for listening. 🌸 I feel lonely.