Well here I am again. I am here at home in my own room while the wife sleeps in her room. I have been pushed out to this room because I breathe too loud at least that is what she says. I dunno I have not slept with my wife for around 7 years now. She has taken over the whole house except for this room. I know she is depressed also but she will not listen to what I have to say because I am wrong. I was wrong when she listened to Oparah when she said to get off of Prozac… she did it that day and because she said it was not good for her she went off of it cold turkey… (Bad Idea) yet when I told her that she needed to go off of it gradually well I did not know anything..even though I was on a drug study for three years and they explained how it is a bad thing….I feel totally out of her life and I am becoming really upset because now sheexpects me to serve her all the time…. food cigareetes, drinks.. I work 12 to 14 hour days on a regular basis and when I get home she is there to demand me to serve her…. she sets at home in PJ's all day and plays games….why? she hs been talking about her old boy friend from highschool now…I guess I am nothing to her after 27 years of marrage…..anyone have any Ideas??? I am at a loss and truely thinking divorce is the way to go …… I need to find me again… the doctor in the drug study told me she as the reason behind my depression along with my job at the time….I think he was right…. I changed the Job… so I guess I need to change the wife…Hmmmmm
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Some of the necessary decisions can also be the toughest ones. Look into divorces, the types and the ramifications. Are you going to be saddled with supporting her for the rest of your life, either way. Make sure that most of your assets are in your name. In addition to all you have been through, the after math of a divorce can be quite devastating. are there any children involved? Make sure she doesn’t clean out the bank account. Maybe you can begin to move assets from joint to your name, gradually of course, so as not to draw attention. If you choose this route, investigate it thoroughly. Do not enter precipitously or uninformed. How much of a problem will your faith be in this process?
Thanks you ancient…. I have started to move some of the assets and have a second bank account…. it will devestate her because she basically thinks she is doing nothing wrong… That is what makes it soooo hard… she is 46 and it seems like she has the mind of a 12 year old….. My faith has also said to stick it out but for 27 years? Hmmmmm I think that even God tells us we are here not necessarily to have fun but he does say to be happy… and well it has been a while since I have been able to be happy….. Thank You very much…. for your words of encouragement…. all of our kids are older so they will not be a problem….
I think you are right there is no reason why you should let yourself be hurt in this way. It sounds like she doesn't care anymore and you need to care about yourself without her negative actions. if it were me I would confront her about how she treats you and how it makes you feel and that yes you are considering divorce and just see how that goes it might help you make up your mind darlin. Whatever you do decide do it for you!
Thanks Maggie… I was reading last night about just what you are saying….
Thanks Arachne…. I am glad to hear that I am not the only one….. not so glad to hear that it actually happens….. But I am working at this time on som support..and it is very hard to actually find someone who understands what I am saying…. it would have been hard from a Female side as well…. the physical is not there but the mental abuse is very much a part of my everyday life…. this is one of the main reasons I have started down this path…. I have lost who I am.. and do not like th puppet I have become…. I work very hard and never have anything…… yet… I think loneliness is hard as well…. but still better than this…. Thanks again for your thoughts…and support…
Snow dreamer.. thanks for your support… I am working on setting her down and leting her know how I feel… most of the time though she will do the talking and anything I say is for not…. But I know in my heart that I have to let her know why and how the road back is not going to be all that easy if she decides to attempt to keep the union together…. She has hurt me in so many ways…. from the cotroling of the money I make to her infedelity….. It is hard not to just throw my hands up and give up…. then leave… I have a freind I work with who did just that one day he turned left instead of right and kept driving….Thanks again..