What if I didn't know how to count…  What would my ocd be like… 

Since I count while and how many times I do something, if I couldn't count, would I still do them and how…  Too bad I can't smack the person who taught me how to count!  J/K  😀

I'm sure bad thoughts would enter my head still and I would still line certin things up facing a certin direction.  Like the opening side of the pillow case.  It can not face towards my grandma house.  Because I think she will die that night if it does.  And the invisible knots.  And sick people.

But the buttons in the Jeep, and the windows, would I still do them if I couldn't count…

Oh anyway, work was crappy.  Stupid floor mats and Expo markers.

Driving was alright.  Of course I was not excited about driving in the snow and it put me in a nasty mood.  I did the window thing.  ALOT.  But I feel more safe in the Jeep then I did in the Neon.  It has four wheel drive.  Which is awesome by the way.  I can't believe I went ten years without it!

Does anyone else think down is bad and up is good?  Because Hell is down and Heaven is up?  That's why things have to always go up last.  Up is good.  Or certin letters are good and certin ones are bad.  Q is ver good!  I know not a single person with the name that has a Q in it.   

Luda said something about making a fool of yourself or death are the main reasons for anxiety disorders.

Which makes sense since I fear death ALOT and making a fool of myself too but not as bad as death.

Everything about it is scary.  Since I am afraid of the dark.  I am afraid of small spaces.  Afraid of the unknown.  Afraid of being alone.  Afraid of losing someone.  Afraid of never seeing someone again.  Afraid I am a bad person.  The list goes on.

Mmm ok I'm tired.  I got it out now I can go to bed.