did i ever tell you i was attacked by an ostrich once? i took my kids to the petting zoo and they had ostriches there..yeah i didnt think they belonged at a petting zoo either…maybe they got lost….anyway they were there and no one was even getting close to them so like a dumbass i decide to live life on the edge and feed them…i had part of a sugarless cone we had been feeding to the goats and other animals so i held out my hand with it so the ostrich could eat it…something i didnt know but learned very quickly is that ostriches dont have very good depth perception…in other words they dont see a cone and a hand…they see a blob…so the ostrich shoots his neck out and grabs the whole blob (hand ow) in his beak….something else i learned very quickly…they may not have teeth but those beaks are sharp…he is trying to eat my blob (hand ow) and is very upset that its still attached to my wrist…there is a crowd of people now gathering around and i think they think its part of the show because they start to ooh and ahh like my blob (hand ow) is exploding in a shower of lights instead of being eaten by a 200 pound bald turkey…the whole time my kids are watching this and they think this is the funniest thing they have ever seen…the only thing im trying to do is to get my blob (hand ow) back with at least 3 of my fingers left and do it without screaming like a little girl if i can help it…finally after what seemed like forever times 2 the ostrich decided the blob (hand ow) wasnt tasty and let it go…i pull my hand (blob ow) back and count fingers twice before i’m sure all five are still there…my son is wiping tears from his eyes and telling me to do it again as the crowd applauds like my hand came out gripping a rabbit….the things i do to make my kids lives enjoyable..we actually ended up going back there 2 weeks later and the ostriches were gone….i always wonder if i had a hand (blob ow) in them being taken away….if this helped put a smile on your face it was worth any humiliation i had to suffer…i love you guys….thumper