to the man who I have thought about for years since I was 15. I get it we were kids back then right? but In some special times I could see us growing old together, going through hard times, figuring out our next moves together. Times were simple when you didn\’t have to worry about supporting one another, depending on each other that way, supporting each other emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

We ended things because at the time we were young, and easily became victims of our dark thoughts and opinions of other people. I use to play back in my head all my favorite moments with you. The times you walked me home, the times you kissed me in the raining weather like some kind of movie, the times you smiled at me with true happiness, the times we sang music out loud, the times we got in trouble just for being teenagers. Until it all changed when I fell victim to High school gossip.

Here I am. 10 years later and I find you come back into my life one random weekend. I jumped at the chance to kiss you again and I thought just one. I just have to kiss you once more and I will content with setting you free that was a lie.. Because fast forward from January 2021 to October 2021 a few months apart we would see each other twice a month. One because I worked so much and second I didn\’t want to get attached but I did. But i was already attached or obsessed? I don\’t know I\’m not over the top wanting to be around him and in his space everyday. just wanting to be that special person to him. The only person he ever loved, the only woman who knew him before he went dark, the person who thought about him when he didn\’t even know, the person who prayed for him in secret to whatever person is out there that everyone prays too.

I guess I\’m going to come clean. Tell him everything I thought and felt about him before its to late. I guess. Just so i can unpack all this emotional baggage for myself. who knows. I want to tell him because I\’m planning on moving. Is that really fair to do that to him knowing i am possibly leaving him behind? I don\’t know how he will react.