I have had issues my whole life but did not know there was a name for it.  I am 55 and have hidden my anxieties and compulsions all my life.  I am a Christian and I guess I felt it was a secret sin that I had to cope with and overcome.  Because of this, I look and act fairly normal.  I think as kids with OCD, you want so badly to fit in or not stand out, that you cover, hide, mask – whatever.  I have had bad things happen to me or my loved ones that has exacerbated what was probably a mild case.  As a result of my husband's serious year long illness, I became depressed and sought help.  How can it be if there is not a voice to it, it does not exist.  The problem is, this tendency is fluffed off as eccentric, silly, overboard – everything but the crippling disorder it can be.  My earliest recollections was seeing a dog defecate and being ballistic for months because I had seen something dirty.  I lost so much weight, my parents feared for my health.  I had a period of time when anything I said, i counted on my fingers and repeated it until it came out even, ending on my pinky.  My brother had a serious accident while with me and that set me on a spiral of guilt.  Fears ballooned and I became neurotic about safety.   I have had cancer all my life – not really, but I might as well had because that is all I could think of.   Every doctor's visit was a death sentence, until proven otherwise.  After seeking psychiatric help and being on meds for 5 years, I now worry about not being worried.  My most recent issues are intense cheekbiting and cuticle biting.  I am a clinic manager and travel to multiple sites.  Very stressful.  I am also not dealing with my belongings.  My garage and back bedroom are totally out of control.  I can't throw things away.  It is kind of scary writing all this down on paper.   I am writing here to find people with these issues and how they have dealt with them or overcame them.  Thanks for listening but most of all for understanding?