Well the 'grandparents' will be here tomorrow at 2pm and I am packin it big time, im scared, im nervous, im worried, im angry and im anxious. Dont think I have felt so many emotions at once lol.

Well as you can tell they have finally agreed to come to my house for a chat but grandad just had to point out that he was right and that nanna agreed that he was right in the fact that nanna wont take any of this easily. That pissed me off, the woman was exactly the same when I knew her, I know she wont take it easily and im very aware that she might fly off the handle, I feel like already they are treating me like I know fuck all, it might just be me or it could be what they think, but really I dont care, because to be honest I need the anger to controll me tomorrow, I know an emotion will have to lead me and I want it to be anger, it is the only emotion I can controll and make it work to my advantage, and out of all the emotions Im fealing atm that to me seems to be the more powerful one out of the bunch. and I am getting pretty sick of people telling me "its ok" & "it will work out for the best" what they think will be best, is not best, they think i want everything to be dandy afterwards, which I dont want, (mainly with nanna, im fine with grandad) I have made the choice to cut her out of my life, now  I know making that point clear will not be easy, but to make it easy I am counting on her to loose controll and well hate me lol or even for her to just do or saying something wrong will make it easy.

I dont even know what im going to say, or how to get things started. I have soooo many things I want to say, but will most likely not like the fact that she would be NO WHERE with out grandad, he took her in as a single mother, he had a great stable job in the airforce, he has always provided for his wife and family and all she ever was, was a hair dresser (im not knocking it, but lets face it, they make so little money) My grandad made a very good life for her, nice house, holidays every year, he gave her everything she could ever dream of and with out him she would be her own worse nightmare… a single mother with nothing!!! (i understand in todays time things are different with single mums, but back then it was not a normal thing to be, and heaven for bid you be a single mum). I want to know her definition of a 'bad mother' she always put down my mums parenting and her own sisters parenting because they were both single mothers… correct me if im wrong, but being single does not make a bad parent lol Ive grown up well and my cousin has grown up well, he's in uni studying sports science, has in own place a job and a nice girlfriend… where did his mother go wrong??? lol so since our mothers are bad at being mothers, why are me and my cousin still living, not hooked on drugs and dont have multiple children? that just baffles me to no end. AHHHHHHHHHH she is a horrible woman. I feel father evil in saying this but… I am going to make her regret everything she ever said to me that was bad till the day she dies, I am going to take myself away from her and only see my grandad which I know will silently kill her inside!

Well on a happy note… I HAVE MY COUCH!!! yay so happy, its really comfy

HAIL SINGLE MOTHERSS… I have much respect for all of you out there 🙂