Is it too late to take back what I have done? Cuts… about 10… in just the last two days. The Pain from this everlasting circle of sorrow, hate, the want to make it all end… I just don’t know what to do anymore. My mother… She keeps saying things that echo… The things she has said in the past, they echo too. I can’t make it stop, i hear everything she has said, every little thing wrong with me, over and over. I can’t make it stop, I would if I could. She found out I cut… She told me to stop, that it was stupied, that I could talk to her… But then she does these things, says things. I don’t know what to do. I can’t leave, I’m half way around the world from anybody that could help me. I can’t get help here, we are in China on a work resume… We aren’t citizens, nothing can be done. There are no school councelers…. Th;e last one left. I’m trapped…. I can’t do aything anymore. I don;t enjoy writeing like I used too, everything I write feels sad, empty, dark, or just… dissapointing. I can’t bring myself to pt effort into school… It just doesn’t feel worth it anymore. I don’t want to eat that much anymore, but I know i have enough fat to last me for months… Thats for sure. I’m just so ready to just become clothing, then hang it. It’s not like anybody would care. Nobody would ever care. My friends say they do, but I know they say it so that I don;t end it, so that they can make me feel cared about. But i’m not. I know that… I wish they would stop pretending.


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