I've been up since 5:30 this morning, but I'm feeling good. I sat on the porch and read my book (almost finished, only a few more pages!!) and watched the sun rise. I love the constantly changing progression of colors fill the eastern sky over the pine trees and the reflection of it all in the stillness of the water in the pond. It's so peaceful and let's me feel at one with myself ~ no worries, no real cares, just me being me.

My husband left early this morning, he's working a double-shift today so he won't be home till about midnight. I hate it when he has to do this, but the money is really good when he works overtime like this, so he can't really turn it down. He makes me so proud because taking care of us is his utmost priority, even when it costs him sleep. He's a good man.

Work went much better than expected last night.I had nothing to worry about, and the funny thing is I never really do have anything to worry about. When I get there I'm fine, it's just getting there and starting is hard. After that initial time period I fall into the normal rhythm of things and the time just goes by like almost nothing. I'm really glad I made myself go. From now on I need to remind myself to take it one step, one day at a time. Stop looking at the future and focus on today, on right now. Like at this moment my beautiful son is sitting next to me on the porch playing games on my phone. It's a moment full of good things.

Today is going to be much like yesterday, full of chores and minor things to do. We've got to run to the library to drop off the movie and my book when I finish it, and maybe take my husband dinner tonight at work. He gets lonely and misses us when he's not home at night to hang out with us. We miss his presence too.

I have some phone calls to make and planning with Mindy to do about the boys this weekend. I'd really prefer to have Joshua over here to spend the night with us, but I don't know if he can do it. He's still very nervous without his Mom, but he's never spent the night away from home. Maybe I'll just take him for the day this weekend and do something with the 2 of them.

Tomorrow is payday ~ thank God! We did it though, made it through the week on practically nothing. I'm reallyproud of ourselves! Now that I'm working some that will help things a little, even if it's just enough to buy half a tank of gas. That's money we didn't have before.

I'm still trying to decide whether or not to hire a lawyer to go to appeals court about social security disability. I want to, but don't know who to go to or who would take me on. That has to do with the phone calls I need to make today. I'm going to try to find one who will accept my case.

Anyhow, that's all the rambling I'm going to do for now. I hope everyone has a decent Thursday and plans for the weekend to look forward to. 🙂