Okay, if you have read my last few blogs, you'd know my father had given my health teacher a letter reading "under no circumstances (what so ever) should my daughter be talked to or be a part of any class discussion/homework that involves of suicide since she had lost her best friend to it just a year ago." (I'm paraphrasing, of course).

Today in Health class, we were in partners researching different kind of examinations and such. One of my words that I had to research was Colonoscopy. My friend who was my partner had seen that I was looking it up, so he started cracking up jokes and was reciting lines from the show 2 1/2 Men where the episode was about Colonoscopy. I started laughing (quietly) and that's when things went bad.

My Health teacher had came over to our table and had asked us, "This is a very serious topic, so I don't see what's so funny. Why are you laughing?" She looked at me for an answer.

My friend answered her by saying, "She's looking up Colonoscopy." Basically, putting the spotlight on me to answer her question. I didn't know how to answer it since I didn't want it to look like I wasn't doing my work, so I answered the first thing that came off the top of my head.

"It's just how they worded the procedure. It's very detailed and different," which was basically half the truth as well. Then, my teacher got all defensive and had used my weakness against me.

"Yes, because that's what the procedure is. How'd you feel if someone you knew had to get the exam? How do you think those people feel?" she asked me. What was the big deal? I do know people who has had that exam many times and the people who have got it didn't even care about it. Every older male gets one at least once and all the males I know make fun of it as well.

I didn't say anything back in return since she was on a rampage. This is when things got dark for me. "You have had experience of knowing someone who had been laughed at and had been bullied," she said to me with a very hurtful tone. She looked at me, then turned away and walked to the front of the class.

As soon as she had said that last sentence, I had broke down as I leaned my head down. My heart broke and shattered. I blamed myself for my friend's death for a while, but I have finally came to terms a few months ago by knowing it was not my fault. Then, hearing this from my own teacher who I thought admired me? Wow. She knew that would hurt me and my own teacher used it against me for reference that was completely irrelevant to the situation. If she had said, "I'm sorry, but this is work time and I think you should get back to work," I'd understand, but no. She did not say that.

After the whole rant, she went to the front of the class and immediately spoke out, "This is a very serious matter. I had lost my sister to breast cancer and my mom is a survivor of breast cancer for 17 years. I don't think this is any laughing matter." Okay, hold up! I WAS NOT laughing nor talking about anybody at all and I certainly was not even talking about breast cancer. I was talking about a colon examination that is for MALES and TV show that had an episode based on it.

Extras for my defense, I'm in the middle of my teen years (15 years old). Do you really expect me not to laugh or at least not chuckle at the sight of very detailed steps to a colon examination? Even my dad and his friends, plus my own grandpa still laughs at the fact of it and most of them had the examination themselves.

Right in the middle of class time, I had begun to cry because of the event. I was only in 2nd hour, so I had 4 more hours to keep it bottled in until I got home to tell my parents since my teacher had gone against the agreement my dad had wrote her a couple of weeks before. Especially a couple days ago when she was trying to get information out of me about my friend who had passed away just a year ago when specifically told not to even talk to me about it. I didn't tell her anything other than the fact she was bullied which was not even 1/10th of the reason she took her own life.

It is 11:00 PM and I am still hurt as I type this, I've been crying most of the day because of what had happened. So much for being a Health teacher.