its just gone midnight for me, and here i am again underprepared for what the hell i am going to do tomorrow.  You see i am very scatty lately, I cant remember what it is i have to do unless i write them down in a place i wont forget!  And the last few days have been so good that I felt I might be able to get into my normal routine and have something resembling normality for me and the way I want to live my life.  But somehow the last 30 mins have disappeared and now I can't remember what the hell I am going to do, worrying that if i dont get to bed early enough i wont get up at a good time tomorrow and just send the day in front of the tv again!NOOOOOO! that cant happen again – i cannot live a life in front of the tv its all reruns and I swear that I am loosing my mental faculties! This is ridiculous!  I have to break my cycle and now I am getting more anxious and more anxious! I feel like if this goes on, I am going to have a panic attack.  I want to get to sleep and have a productive day but I dont even know what is productive anymore!  Well I am going to go to bed, and try and relax, and tomorrow work out what it was that I am going to do with myself!  well i hope you are all well and I will let you know how things go! xx

P.S. i just wanted to say a big thanks to everyone who has been in touch today and i will be in touch with you all tomorrow – i am sorry i didnt make time today to get back in touch with you all! i hope your all doing well and I have appreciated all your kind words and thoughts for me!