I do not know if it is because it is a Monday, I'm bored,or I am actually depressed, but i am completely numb. I feel nothing. It's as if i am back on medication. I was actually banging my head against the wall a couple minutes ago. I feel sick. yet i eat for no reason at all. It could be the birth control. God how i hate taking it.

I think i just answered my own question. it is the second week of the pill. Symptoms are starting to kick in. If this continues i will have to demand i be taken off it. there was no reason to put me on it in the first place. yeah i missed my period for 3-5 months. But i wasn't preggers. And my test came back negative for any STD's. I really don't think i should be on the pill. I am killing off my potential children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry religion speaking.

But yeah. i am completely numb. I can not feel happiness, even worse i can not feel sadness or anger. Not even Naruto cheered me up. I am surrounded by happy people but it does nothing. I feel nothing. worst thing is… It's finals week!

On the plus side i finished my standards list. it's a list of standard to ensure that i will never end up with a guy. I be violent… unfortunately… there are around 80-90 standards on that list. i hope my friend has fun trying to find a guy that meats the standards. yes i doubt her a little. but i have been told the she is 99.999% right all the time. but there is that .0001%. But it was fun.

back to the numbness. can i just go die in a freakenhole in the middle of an uncharted desert.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you guys are having a good night =D

1 Comment
  1. Andie372 8 years ago

    Feeling numb is worse than feeling pain, to me.  I have had this numb feeling before, it's awful to go around like that.  Birth control is just that, controlling when and whether you will have children.  It's a blessing that our ancestors did not have.  Women used to be tied to their fertility and no chance of determining on their own when and how many children they had.  It's up to you whether or not you take the pill.  I hope you get some feeling back soon.  Merry Christmas.

     

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