Im not sure why but I seem to have panic attacks almost daily, it really doesnt make any sense but I see it as a sign of something amiss no doubt……I never used to have them …I live in a place where people are always like throwing up peace signs…its not really a work environment in fact Im not sure if anyone works around here yet they try and show they are cool by flashing 2 finger signs…kinda ghetto from what I was used to when I was an electrician… Id like to go back to working but not sure I could get a med clearence…just one of those things I guess…makes me feel like a bum though and instead of just settling in and figuring Im screwed I have panic attacks like I should be doing this or that…..when in the end its irelavent (sp) I know thats not true because when I worked I guarded my credit like a hawk and kept my rep as an electrician strong constantly going to classes to keep updated on OSHA and changes in electrical code…..Now I feel like Ive been put in my place after working so many years thrust into an environment of people who have lived this way all their life and dont know any better or how it could possibly be better…Im becoming one of them due to my disease……Its been hard not to pull the trigger especially in the middle of the nite when i panic…..I know others are worse off but while I look healthy I know Im not I know what this illness has done to my self esteem my mind and physical body…Im no fool and can see the forest through the trwees….knowing what to do about it now thats an entirely different story…dave

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