I thought I’d go read some of my old blogs and copy them to my own computer. Since I did not see the warning email about The Tribe website change, I did not save anything. Not sure they are all there. I thought at first some were missing, but as I copy into a Word document and then delete, more show up. (I had already hit the ‘Load More’ button, but it only gave one more page). The comments are still there, IF the user is still active. Some of my friends left and deleted their accounts. One friend had her account erased and has come back with the same name, but all her previous stuff is gone. Gone are all the encouraging thoughts and words of wisdom from those friends. But at least I have some to look back on and treasure.
This ‘little’ project is going to take some time as I wrote quite a few blogs over the 2+ years. I can’t imagine what it would be like for those of you who have been on here longer and wrote even more often than I. I seemed to come and go in spurts. When I would be a part of DT, I HAD to come to visit, to read, to vent, to encourage others. Then something would happen and I would not have time. Actually right now I don’t have time. I have so much I should be doing. But I don’t want to lose friends who are discouraged from the site since it has changed. I don’t want to give up, yet.
I never could come to DT and just write my blog and go. I had to read what others wrote, encourage or offer feedback. I would respond to the comments others made on my blog. I would private message friends. I tried the Chat Room a couple of times, but never did quite get into it. Recently, I joined a Story Game in a forum. So, DT took time when I came. Still does. I try to find friends and read their posts. Send messages or comment. I read new users’ blogs and comment if I have something relevant to say.
Now I am adding more time here by trying to preserve my past. I try to just copy and past without reading so I can finish more quickly. But at times something catches my eye and I have to read it. In some ways I see how I have grown and made progress. in others I see that I am fighting the same old demons and feel like I am losing the battle. I am not in as dark of a place as I have been. That is encouraging. I pray I can stay away from the deepest dungeons I have visited in my past. I cannot risk getting close to them as I fear one day I will never emerge. So, it is a little dangerous to read some of the stuff. But at the same time it is refreshing. The responses from my friends are one of the best parts of looking back. You all have no idea how often you pushed me on, how often you pulled me from the brink, or how often you just validated me as a person. Thank you, friends. But as wrote earlier, I really do not have the time for this right now. So I better get moving.