Why are people so selfish? Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes you have to be selfish in life; but it seems like people for the most part are inherently selfish and I run into these people constantly. People say they care for those suffering from mental health issues, but do little or nothing to genuinely try to help. My current therapist has done little to help me and is overall dismissive. I’ve been trying to find another therapist but none seem to accept my health insurance. Every single “friend” I’ve had have put no effort in maintaining contact and are overall apathetic. I went to a mental health support group years ago to find people who struggle with depression like I do, and that turned out to be a waste of time. I wish I could go back in time and not go there in the first place. I thought it would be a place for like-minded people with similar struggles to connect and befriend each other and I was wrong.
What’s the point in being vulnerable and trying to connect with people who don’t care. One person I became close to turned out to be no different from the rest. Time and time again I’ve reached out to her to hang out and she agrees only to flake at the last minute with some “excuse”. She wasn’t paying attention to her phone, her mom told her to stay home even though she’s a “grown” woman, she has to wait for the plumber to come, blah blah blah… At first I really liked this woman. She also sent mixed signals. One day she told me she viewed me as more than a friend than later on just a friend. Privately we would discuss things that would imply there was something more than platonic friendship and then nothing. I thought she was funny, pretty, intelligent, and conscientious. For a time I thought of her as my best friend. But actions speak louder than words. And her actions definitely said a lot. Twice I waited for her to come downstairs for us to go out only for her to never show up. What the hell kind of “friend” does that?!!! For her birthday a couple of years ago we planned to go out and I bought her a gift only for her to say she was suddenly “sick” at the very last moment. She initially didn’t even tell me I had to text her for her to tell me. She was going to leave me hanging without a heads up if I didn’t contact her. I never gave her the gift, and never will.
I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t be the only one putting forth an effort to make a friendship work. Apathy, selfishness, and lack of self-awareness seem to be common traits of most people. It’s time for me to finally move on. These people are toxic and no one should have to deal with what I’ve dealt with. Why is it so hard to find good friends especially as you get older? Are there any people capable of being good friends left? Why doesn’t anyone care?