If I could just be and not let my emotions get the better of me than I think sometimes this would be easier to handle. Don't get me wrong the past few months have been great and I have been feeling good (mentally) I was thinking wow I can see the light, I can see the way out.  Until today, I woke up just feeling blue and anxious. Feelings that I don't like to feel because I always think they will get worse. Although now I have a grip on my feelings and I can not let myself go into a dark place. Which for me is an accompishment because a few months ago I didn't know how to get out of that place.

 So, I guess ultimately I am disappointed in myself for feeling this way today and I feel like I let myself down for not "having it together".  I know it sounds silly but I feel like I was so close to letting all of my anxious and depressed feelings go and like a blink of an eye they are back (not in full force) but back. Will they be there tomorrow or was this just a little kink in the plan to let me know that I am vulnerable sometimes and everyday can't be perfect? I will like to think that it is just a little kink.

Everyday can't be all smiles and sunshine and I know that but wouldn't it be nice if it were just sunshine and smiles? 

Hope and faith is what I have now and knowing that gives me more strength to become a happier person. To be in touch with myself is becoming the most important part of me because if I have a day like the one today I know that it no longer defines who I am and will give me strength to move forward