I’m stuck at a dead end job. All my attempts to better my situation have failed. I’m currently making less than I was making at my previous job. My current job is completely unimportant. In order to get another job I have to have references complete a survey and most of them aren’t reliable. So I probably won’t get that job. Depression always gets worse in the summer. I don’t have any friends. I’m a burden to everyone in my life. My parents are the only people that care about me. If it weren’t for them I would have killed myself years ago. My previous therapist was terrible and made everything worse. I can’t talk to my parents about this. I can’t talk to anyone. I really tried to get better. I give up. I’m barely hanging on. I don’t care about anything anymore. Nothing matters. The only thing that can end my depression is my death.

2 Comments
  1. therewillbeaday2000 5 months ago

    I’d like to share a quote from John Green that has seen me through some dark thoughts, if that’s ok. “Now always seems infinite, and never is.” Its from The Sycamore Tree. I know things are bad, trust me I do. Life really sucks sometimes. My situation is similar to yours. My only reason for never doing it is my dogs. I know I should say that life will get better, than your mood will lift and things will work out, but I can’t see into the future. Life usually gets better, that’s true. Your Now won’t be your Always, that’s true too. And things working out is 50/50. What I can see, tho, is that some part of you, even just a tiny little part, wants to still be alive. You wouldn’t be on here if you didn’t. Part of you had the courage to reach out, to write this, to see if someone cared. And they do. I do. I care about you, random stranger on the internet. I care about your life. I realized a few months ago that I don’t want to die, I just want to stop hurting. I think that might be true for you as well. As for you feeling like a burden, I doubt that’s true. Someone once told me that a burden is something thats forced upon you, but your loved ones aren’t forced to love you, they choose too. You’re worth that love. You’re worth giving yourself another day. This season will pass, there’s plenty more to see and experience. You matter. You are not alone. Don’t go.

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