This morning I got up at 8 a.m. and got ready for my little journey for the day. My Mom, who had loved my grandparents dearly too, decided she wanted to be there with me when I spread Grandma's ashes. I was greatly moved by this, because my Dad (who is that grandmother's son), didn't want to be bothered with it.
As we drove to the spot we talked about her and my grandfather and how awesome and loving they were. I was so lucky to have them in my life~ they were completely supportive of my creativity and music from the beginning. And in my college years she gifted me with her car because I needed reliable transportation and she was moving into a retirement home for veterans and wives of, and they always had buses and such available.
The biggest gift she ever gave me was the purchase of my professional violin. In my 3rd year of college it became evident that the violin I possessed was holding me back, and my teacher engaged me in the search for a new one. I tried everything I could do to get loans to finance the purchase, but to no avail. My grandmother heard about this, and since she had sold her home, told me to pick the violin I wanted and let her know.
Together, she and my Mom and a little bit from my Dad paid for my instrument. It was the best gift anyone has ever given me, and I still cherish the instrument to this day. Even though I haven't been playing professionally in a couple of years due to my illness, it is my most prized posession. I intend one day to go back to it professionally, I just have to get my health back first.
We arrived at the spot, and I thought I would be okay. I took my shoes off, waded out into the sandy waters, and stopped where I remembered being the last time. As I reached in to hold her remains in my hand, my eyes filled with tears and ran down my cheeks. I stuck my hand in the water and watched her swirl away with the current.
I stood there in the morning sun, crying quietly and telling her all the things I wanted her to know. I told her how much I loved her and thought she deserved to be placed with grandpa, whom she loved more than anything. And that as the wife of an Airforce officer, she deserved to have her contribution celebrated on the 4th as well. Without her support and love, my grandfather never would have had the family he did, the children he loved, and a place to call home.
I stood there and watched as the last of her dust floated away, and told her that I would keep her and grandpa in my heart until we met again.
I waded back to the shore where my mother stood waiting holding the 2 roses I had brought. In remembrance and love we threw the roses to the waves and smiled while we cried. They were together finally. And I know she would have been happy with that.
Love you always Grandma. <3