The Return of the BLOOOOG

Hello all,  once again.  I neglected my attemptg at writting  30 blogs in  30 days for   a few days but  I am back.  I'm  still having  this,  at times unbearable,  almost  disabling,  and at other times just extremely annoying,  tension in the back of my neck where the bottom of my skull meets my neck.   It  almost  feels like someone or something is grabbing hold of the back of my skull and just  squeezing it.   I try taking deep breathes,  which only  seems to make the tension worse,  I try relaxing, which just causes me to focus on the fact that the tension isn't going away and  increases my anxiety,  and  I try just going on  with what  I'm doing on the computer,  which  I am more successsful at than  I use to be,  but  I still  worry that  I had a " bad " thought as  I was clicking on a web page link or something.  An instance,  if  I'm  looking at a web page, or looking for a web page,  say  MyOCD.org,  and  I get the  picture of   a headstone in a cemetary in my head,  then  I think that  if  I don't first clear   that image  from m  my before going onto the web page,  that  my  mother and/ or  father  will  be killed in a car accident on their way home.   So,  I have  to  click the back button on my web browser,   clear the  image  of the cemetary  and /  or the church in front  of it out  of my mind    and   say to myself  inside my head,  not out loud  "  No,  I  don't  want anything bad to happen  to mom or dad.  "    This   kind of thinking,  that  my thoughts can make something happen,   and   my   ability  to not get rid of that kind of  thinking,  when,  I  am supposedly  "  a very intelligent  person "  is   what  drive  me   nuts.    I   think part  of that  may stem from   always hearning  people say   "   If  you   believe it,  you  can make it happen  . "   Now,   I relize  that  saying is  meant  to be inspirational,   but   still.  

1 Comment
  1. Profile photo of thymeoperator
    thymeoperator 8 years ago

    the home page says MAY is the month to blog every day, which makes not much sense considering may has 31 days, not 30, but according to the front page, i think you haven't failed the challenge for a few days, as it's not started yet!

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