Hello all, once again. I neglected my attemptg at writting 30 blogs in 30 days for a few days but I am back. I'm still having this, at times unbearable, almost disabling, and at other times just extremely annoying, tension in the back of my neck where the bottom of my skull meets my neck. It almost feels like someone or something is grabbing hold of the back of my skull and just squeezing it. I try taking deep breathes, which only seems to make the tension worse, I try relaxing, which just causes me to focus on the fact that the tension isn't going away and increases my anxiety, and I try just going on with what I'm doing on the computer, which I am more successsful at than I use to be, but I still worry that I had a " bad " thought as I was clicking on a web page link or something. An instance, if I'm looking at a web page, or looking for a web page, say MyOCD.org, and I get the picture of a headstone in a cemetary in my head, then I think that if I don't first clear that image from m my before going onto the web page, that my mother and/ or father will be killed in a car accident on their way home. So, I have to click the back button on my web browser, clear the image of the cemetary and / or the church in front of it out of my mind and say to myself inside my head, not out loud " No, I don't want anything bad to happen to mom or dad. " This kind of thinking, that my thoughts can make something happen, and my ability to not get rid of that kind of thinking, when, I am supposedly " a very intelligent person " is what drive me nuts. I think part of that may stem from always hearning people say " If you believe it, you can make it happen . " Now, I relize that saying is meant to be inspirational, but still.
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