Well, here we are, in Port.St.Luicie. All my family is gathering from all corners of the United States to say goodbye to my grandfather. I’ve cried more today than I’ve since he passed away on the 30th of September. Being here. For the celebration of life and for the funeral just makes it seem more real, and my heart is breaking so bad. I  can’t even put into words how I am feeling right now. 

My grandmother is not doing good at all either. She is having hallucinations and doesn’t know what she wants or who she is talking to. 

My mother looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks, and looks like she is about to break down. I hate that this is happening to our family. My grandmother always said death happens in 3 and that is what worries me I guess. 

I know I am probably not making since and my thoughts are everywhere. I just needed to get some of this out as the next two days are going to be the hardest I’ve ever gone through. 

I know I am probably not making since and my thoughts are everywhere. I just needed to get some of this out as the next two days are going to be the hardest I’ve ever gone through. 

I’m not a religious person but I’m asking for prayers for my family and myself to somehow have the strength to get through this. 

Ive no idea how I am going to get through this. I’ve a broken ankle and are little to no support for anyone. I feel useless my son seems to be pissing everyone off but he is a toddler he knows something is going on and it’s aomethkng not good and he seneses it but can’t process it. The pain that he is in and I’m in it’s just too much.