hi,

i havent been on here in while. although after spending sometime in the yale iop, i found that it is helpful to talk about my moods and listen to others. I am 24 now now, i jioned here when i was 22 i think, anyway, i havent seen much progress in the last few years or hav even begun to see the start of a path to progress, last year around this time i was un-medicated and experiencing severe anxiety; more than i ever had to deal with, this prompted me to immedaitly see a psychatriast, lo and behold, here a year later having been on paxil a year, the intense anxiety is gone, but is now replaced with intense depression,,this his been a plague since i was an early teenager, and now has renderedme almost completly functionless and seemingly mentally incompetent,,,,w/o any engagements or any social life, i do w.e i can to help myself during the day,,,getting a little studying done here and there but nothing really holding water, i find i am happiest when i have a fresh cup of coffee and i find the cops marathon on..lol….

idk what to do ,almost clueless,, i just want to sleep all day cuz thats the only thing i can derive pleasure from–its like im waiting for the day to end but at the same time im resenting wasting time

ive been trying to figure out my cycles, rythms & mood changes so i can be prepared and aviod unhelpful mental states. I have severe ocd which can further complicate things. ive found out ur mood doesnt depend so much on out-side circumstances as it does your "concept" of your circumstances.

i am scheduled to take residence at the harvard ocd institute later this month, hopefully they will shed light on what im really dealing with and will formulate a plan for improvement

anyway this is the weight i have spilled for you to read,for anyone reading this, thankyou