I spent the last four and a half months fostering kittens. It was supposed to be for just a weekend. Yeah, right. Last one was adopted a week ago, so I now have more free time. Below are Mischief (Tabby) and Original (Black). They were two of a litter of four.

I know I logged in sometime during the pandemic as I found something I wrote to someone about it not all being attributed to COVID. So it has been less than a year since I was on here. Every time I return, I keep hoping a solid core group has formed. Instead I always find newbies looking aimlessly for help.I dole out whatever little gems someone else gave me at various times and hope to make a connection. Insight and advice are given, but connections and relationships don’t happen. My take on this site, and please correct me if I am wrong, they get paid advertisements and sponsors because of the great number of members. Even if you only counted the logins of members, it would be a great number. But aren’t they mostly new members who login for a couple of days and then disappear? We come looking for help. Sadly most leave disappointed. (Maybe some get immediate encouragement to get professional help and maybe a crisis is diverted). Since we pay nothing to join, there is no incentive to quit or remove our profile. So this website can market itself as having thousands upon thousands of members. People who might even be desperate. Great marketing tool. But as I said, numbers are plumped up. Hope the sponsors realize that.

But large groups do not make good community.  You cannot conduct group therapy with 100 people. You also cannot conduct it with 3. There is a critical minimum mass (exact number is debatable). I say 5 plus a leader, guide, counselor, facilitator whatever you want to call it. When you get too large, say greater than 12-15, then people can feel marginalized as their time to speak is greatly limited.  So, how do we start these groups, these communities bare our problems and listen to peer advice, to be held accountable by our peers? I’d pay to join such a group. I’d want to have a trained facilitator, so that would cost money and I’d be willing to pay. But I realize some of you come here because you have no money for such expenses. Maybe you join in hopes of finding such a group that is free. We can hope and wish. Until then, I’ll try for a while to ask folks to check in (roll call and say how it is going for you). Let’s make this group something.


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